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The Green-Eyed Monster: Why Your Jealousy of Others is Ruining Your Business

I started off 2010 like most people– thinking about what my New Year’s resolution would be. Looking back, there were a number of things I could have resolved to do better—perfect time management, work smarter, spend more time with the family, walk the dog, clean out the fridge once a week, put the laundry away, drink less coffee, buy less shoes…. But I decided that in 2010 I was going to stop being jealous. I was going to break up with my companion, jealousy.

In 2009 so many wonderful things happened for my business but I noticed that no matter how great I did, I always found myself jealous of others. I would be jealous when a client booked another planner over me, when someone worked an amazing wedding that I would have loved to have, when someone booked more clients that year, or had more consultations scheduled during the week. I was jealous of other people’s popularity and accomplishments. I would be jealous of someone else’s amazing studio, their staff, website or logo. I found myself jealous when other people aspired to do things beyond just planning—starting up great blogs, magazines, doing editorial photo shoots, or putting together educational workshops. I basically found myself jealous of a lot of things that other people had.

“Oh, I heard s/he’s doing that… but did you hear….”

“Oh, that client booked so-and-so? Hah! I bet you it’s because s/he undercut our pricing.”

“Wow, so-and-so’s work was featured there? Wonder who s/he knew.”

And so on…. See, jealousy really is a green-eyed monster, and once you find yourself bogged down by jealousy, it’s hard to see clearly. It’s hard to see your own achievements, no matter how small or insignificant you might think they are. It’s hard to improve your current personal and professional situation and transition your business into a new level. Jealousy breads contempt, hatred, and negativity. It is bad for your mental well-being and it is certainly bad for your business. It’s also really bad for the industry.

Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of jealousy. I’ve been there before and know what it’s like. It’s hard to admit to yourself that you are jealous of someone else, which is why I found it especially challenging to keep this resolution. I’ve done very well. Every once in a while, though, jealousy comes back around and I’ve caught myself at times saying or feeling something out of spite. I’m certainly not perfect and it’s a natural human trait…  but I encourage you to take a look at yourself and ask: are you saying something about someone else because of jealousy? Are your actions a reflection of your jealousy of others? Is your jealousy stopping you from doing something that you really want to do– or achieve your short term/long term business goals?

Resolving not to be jealous of others was the best thing I could have done for myself, personally and professionally. I felt like I broke out of a nest full of negativity. Not only that, but positive things started to change on my end. I could see and seize opportunities that would have otherwise passed me by. I also found myself incredibly grateful for what I had and had accomplished, instead of always pining to have what other people had. The biggest payoff? I’m a happier person.

xoxo

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11 Comments

  • Reply
    Jennifer with A Regal Affair
    April 5, 2010 at 6:31 PM

    I think you have accomplished some amazing things in the few short months of 2010. I wish I could attend your workshop and learn from you. As a seasoned vet in this industry, I stay relevant because I seek out others different than me and try to learn. You have a gift and I know your Collaborate & Create will be hugely successful. I look forward to the second one and please, let’s clear our schedules so I don’t miss it. I am so jealous of the attendees and so wish I could go.

    Your success is much deserved and truly organic, not many people can make that claim. Much love and success to you.

  • Reply
    Tweets that mention The Green-Eyed Monster | candicecoppola.com: A business and personal blog dedicated to sharing ideas -- Topsy.com
    April 5, 2010 at 6:40 PM

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by event engineer, Larissa Banting, A Regal Affair, topsy_top20k_en, topsy_top20k and others. topsy_top20k said: Excellent post Candice! RT @eventjubilee: NEW BLOG POST: http://bit.ly/c52ABn […]

  • Reply
    Lauren Chitwood
    April 5, 2010 at 6:43 PM

    Candice, Thanks for sharing. This is something we all have in us and should keep in check. : )

  • Reply
    Gina
    April 5, 2010 at 6:47 PM

    I totally have a struggle with this. I think its also because I am mega competitive, but really I just want to be collaborative and helpful to others. Cheer them on instead of wishing I was them or could have their opportunity.

    What do you do when Jealously sneaks up again, how did you personally shut those feelings off? I would love to know as this is something I really want to work on personally.

    Thank you so much for sharing. Happy Monday.

    G

  • Reply
    Candice
    April 5, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    Gina — it isn’t always easy to check yourself, but you have to. In all honesty, once I made a choice to not be jealous of other people it was easy to check myself. =)

  • Reply
    uberVU - social comments
    April 5, 2010 at 9:18 PM

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by eventjubilee: NEW BLOG POST: http://candicecoppola.com/2010/04/the-green-eyed-monster/

  • Reply
    carla ten eyck
    April 6, 2010 at 3:11 AM

    girl… kudos to posting this! I am honored to have such an honest partner in crime who likes to keep it REAL, do her best, stay fresh and get excited about her job!

    Here’s to a positive 2010 sister!

  • Reply
    Robin Dini
    April 6, 2010 at 1:03 PM

    I think it’s incredible that you started this blog so you can share your experiences that you’ve learned through your business but i think it’s totally awesome that you wrote such an honest piece about what you’ve learned in the biz…because girrrrrrrl, i hear ya that it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the “who’s who” part of any community of professionals. High fives and hugs all around for the amazing lesson in honesty to ourselves and our careers.

  • Reply
    Adrienne
    April 6, 2010 at 7:39 PM

    Just wanted to say how much I love your new blog…It’s a great resource and a fun read! Love.the.logo.

  • Reply
    Jae`
    May 27, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    Wow, how real. I know this is an old post but I just stumbled upon this website from your FB page. Good for you for laying this out there. I’m sure putting these feelings to paper then to public gave you added solace.

    Keep up the good work!

  • Reply
    Thursday Words of Wisdom » Candice Coppola | Savvy Business Advice for Wedding Creatives
    October 20, 2016 at 11:06 AM

    […] a comparison funk? This quote is for you. Be sure to read my blog post about the Green-Eyed Monster and how to exterminate jealousy from your […]

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