Candice (00:03.928)

Hey, hey, it's your coach Candice. Today I want to bring you into a conversation that I had a few weeks ago here in my home at our Wedding Pro Insiders Mastermind Retreat. As you know, I have an amazing mastermind for women in the wedding industry. And we meet once a year here in my home in Barbados to connect, to learn, to level up our businesses. And this year we focused on refinement.

We had so many refining conversations around many topics in our business. And I want to share with you at least one of our conversations that we had here in Barbados and the one skill that I taught a room full of dynamic and talented six figure business owners that I think is actually going to separate the businesses that thrive this year and just moving forward.

From the ones that keep spinning their wheels and stay stuck. Now, I'm gonna give you some fair warning that what I'm going to give you today is kind of the opposite of what almost every coach on the internet is selling you right now. So I want you to stick with me because the skill I'm gonna name, in my opinion, is one of the most underrated things happening in the wedding industry and maybe just in business in general, because

As much as I see this with coaching clients and I see this across the board with my students and many of you whom I follow on Instagram, I also see it in my own business and I see it in with my colleagues and in my industry. And you need to hear this before the year gets any further along. So today's episode is for the wedding pro who has been at this for a few years.

I know I've got many, many people who are just getting started listening to my podcast. And so please don't turn turn away. This is definitely going to support you in building a business differently. But for my more established business owner who's been doing this for a while, who has built a successful business, but who is probably sitting with the fact that your business feels hard and heavy. And maybe you wouldn't build it the same way if you were starting from scratch today. This episode is for you. So let's get into it.

Candice (02:19.543)

Hey there, friend, and welcome back to the Power and Purpose Podcast. If you're new here, I'm Candace. I'm your coach, I'm your host, a former wedding planner and designer who built a very successful business. And now I get to spend my days coaching wedding pros like you through the exact stuff we're gonna talk about today. So if this episode resonates with you, good. I hope that you hit that subscribe button so you are getting a new episode every week. We talk about so many great topics here.

And if you are a returning listener, I want to thank you for spending another day with me, another week with me. Thanks for taking me along on your rides to meetings, appointments, to weddings. Thanks for taking me to the gym, for taking me along, cleaning with you, whatever it is that you're doing today, even if it's getting 15 quiet minutes to yourself in a closet, locked away from your notifications, your kids, your clients. I appreciate you.

Thanks for taking me along. I promise that you're going to really appreciate the concept that I give you during today's episode. And listen, if this episode resonates with you and you think it would resonate with your business bestie, put it in the group chat, babe. Share it with as many people as you can because I think the more people who get the chance to experience the concept and what I'm teaching you today are going to be better off and are going to be happier.

Wedding pros. So send it to your business bestie. And I would love it if it would spark conversation amongst you and your colleagues. That's what I hope these i episodes get to do. So the more you get to share them, the more you get to have conversations like the ones we're having inside Wedding Pro Insiders, which by the way, you are always welcome to jump on the wait list for by going to weddingproinsiders.com.

So let's get into today's episode. The response to this topic was so strong inside my mastermind that I wanted to make sure that I came on the podcast and talked about it. Today we are talking about the one skill that I think you need going forward in your business. And it is discernment, self trust. That is the conversation we should be having in the industry.

Candice (04:36.615)

Not how do I post more, how do I go viral? How do I get more clients? How do I get people to pay attention? How do I streamline my systems and processes? All the things that all the wedding industry coaches are talking to you about. But all those things are really pointless if you don't have discernment and self-trust.

So I am going to get you thinking a little bit differently. And instead of thinking all those things, I'm gonna get you asking, how do I do less on purpose? How do I make my business simpler on purpose? How do I make my business boring on purpose and trust myself to lead what is left?

Now I started this conversation off with a question, and I want to ask you the same question I asked a room full of six-figure business owners. The question was.

If you started your business from scratch today, would you build it the same way? The majority of women said, no, I would not. There are certain things in my business that are just weighing me down. Certain systems, processes, clients, workflows, team members, stuff. Now,

big believer that

Candice (06:11.441)

The journey we take to get to where we are teaches us so much. And that I wouldn't change the journey. So that's not what I'm saying. You know, people always ask me, would you do you wish that you were never burned as a kid? And the obvious answer is, yeah, I wish that did not happen to me. Like so much of my life would be so different. But then I often think, I like my life, like I like who I am, and this.

was a large part of making me who I am. So no, I wouldn't change it. So that's not what I'm asking you. I'm really getting you to think about the layers in your business. If your business was a cake and every layer represented an era of your business of complexity, would you still build your business the same way? And I think many of you in hindsight would choose to build your business differently.

Would choose to build a different business.

Candice (07:17.489)

James Clare has a great quote that I shared in my presentation about this. To simplify before you understand the details is ignorance, but to simplify after you understand the details is genius. And I think that encapsulates what we're about to talk about because I want you to start thinking about your business a little bit differently.

And thinking about how you can start to simplify the complexities that are weighing down your business. And I'm gonna make a case that the key to simplification, the key to simplifying complexity is discernment. I think that for many wedding pros, the issue is not another software, it's not just showing up more on Instagram, it is actually simplifying the complexity.

I think for many of you, your business has become overly complex. And the complexities that you experience on a day-to-day

In your business are the invisible weight that is breaking it. And the antidote to complexity is simplification. Or I should say the counterpart to complexity is simplification. And the antidote that brings these two things together is discernment. Let me share with you two examples of how I see complexity wrecking havoc in more mature businesses. The first

Is what I like to call the Franken business. Most businesses were not designed. They were built in layers, like a cake or like a home that has been added to over the years. Over time and through different seasons, through different wedding seasons, through different versions of you, different seasons of your life and in your business, you built your business and every layer that you added, every software you subscribed to, every system process template.

Candice (09:22.158)

Every brand decision, every relationship you fostered made sense when you added it at the time. But at some point, you have to ask yourself if the whole thing still makes sense. Here's a list of things that I think are adding complexity. Services that you've outgrown, but you haven't removed out of scarcity, fear, or just lacking the time. Pricing that does not reflect.

The value that you offer now and the expertise and experience you've built over the years. Strategies that you've added to your business from trends that you've seen online, coaches that you've hired in the past, courses that you've consumed, fear. I see this where strategies are added out of scarcity, out of fear, out of time of desperation and low bookings. And then also comparison.

Seeing what your competitors, what your friends are doing in the industry, buying into the hype, the juice, and adding it to your business because you think this is a good move. If it was a good move for them, it must be a good move for me. That's not always the case. For your product-based businesses, I see a lot of products that are still on your menu that just don't make sense for you anymore, or that are quite frankly just outdated. I also see this a lot with team members.

You've got team members that you've added over the years, but their roles are redundant. There's a lot of overlap. People are not necessarily in the right positions. And it's adding so much complexity and frustration. Complexity weighs you down. It turns simple things into complex, hard things. And what I see across hundreds of wedding businesses is this.

Nothing is wrong per se. When you look at each individual piece on its own, it makes sense. But when you put it all together, it feels extremely complex. And the problem is it just hasn't been re-evaluated for where you are in your life today, the clients you're serving, and the brand you're building. You maybe just never sat down ever and asked, does this still belong in the business I have right now?

Candice (11:43.303)

Does this service still belong? Does this pricing model still belong? Does this software I subscribe to still belong? Does this system I follow religiously still belong? I call it the Franken business because it reminds me of a Franken house. We all have this house in our neighborhood. It is the house that was built in like the 1970s, and every decade a new person has owned it and they have put an addition onto it or their own spin.

And the house certainly doesn't resemble the original. What it resembles is a Frankenstein house. It looks cray cray. There's an addition above the garage, there's a little window over here. It just looks weird. And if you had ripped it down to the studs and rebuilt it from the foundation up, it would probably look so much better. But nobody is willing to do that. They just want to keep adding an addition to suit their needs.

But on the surface, and even when you get into the house and you start walking around, you're thinking, this is really inefficient. This really doesn't make sense. Maybe you live in a Franken house right now. So this really hits home. But I love this analogy as a very visual person. It helps me to kind of visualize what I'm trying to tell you. You might have a Franken business. And this is the

Invisible complexity that is weighing things down. So on one hand, I see a Frank in business. On the other hand, I often hear, often see what I like to call a more is going to fix it loop. It's a loop of more will fix it. Let me add more. That doesn't fix it, let me add more. That doesn't fix my problem, so let me add more. When something feels off, our default in business is to add. We add a new service. We

Add a new marketing channel. We're like, I'm not, this isn't working out for me on Instagram. Maybe I should try TikTok. We add a new strategy. We hire a new person. We think, okay, I just need a marketing manager. I just need a virtual assistant. My personal favorite is when we think, I need a new brand. Now, as a business coach, I see this a lot. People are like, I'm just gonna rebrand. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, you're not. Please do not do that. Well

Candice (14:00.709)

It depends. Let's talk about it. But this is the default that many people go to. I need a new website. I need a new brand. I need a new brand shoot.

And the thing about this is it feels like it works because it's momentum. We're actually doing something. We're not just sitting there letting our business be hard. We're like, I'm gonna do something about this. And so we start to build a little bit of momentum. And so it feels like momentum because it kind of is momentum. But we've never really considered how adding all this stuff is affecting the foundation of our business and adding weight.

To our business. And I'm gonna deliver some pretty bad news. If you keep doing this, if you keep adding stuff to your business without stopping and asking yourself if this is right for where you are and if what you have already is good enough or if it needs to change, you're gonna start really paying for it. And you probably already are. You're paying for it in your wallet because you're constantly buying stuff to solve problems.

Problems. You're buying a new course. You're buying a new template. You're buying a new software. And I focus on software because people come to me all the time and they want to fix their client process and they think it's the software that they're using. It's not. So they've got 15 different softwares they're subscribed to, which we can we we can say without a a doubt, adds a lot of.

And complexity to your business and it's very expensive. So you're paying for it in your wallet. You're also paying for it with your time because you are splitting your focus between so many different things. You know, a simple task for a client becomes a 15-step process that is now excruciating. You pay for it with decision fatigue.

Candice (16:05.359)

And with the energy that you don't have left for the work that matters most to you and the people that matter most to you. And so this is the trap that I watch the most successful wedding pros fall into the hardest. It's not the beginner starting their business who has analysis, paralysis, and decision fatigue about these things. It's the six figure business owner who has so many options to choose from and way too many things going on as it is.

The more you can afford to add, the more dangerous adding becomes. And so you fall into this more will fix it loop, and you end up building the Frankenstein business that I just talked about. So, what is the antidote to this? And what do we really need to do? We need to simplify. We need to strip your business down to the studs and get rid of the complexities that are weighing you down, that are bumming you out.

That are making sending an email feel as if you had to run a 5K. And you're like, no thanks. No thank you. That does not sound fun. I mean, for some of you guys, that is fun. But in my world, running a 5K is not fun.

Watching TikTok videos about home decor is way more fun to me. So we need to get to simplification. How do we do that? Through discernment. Discernment is the ability to decide what matters and eliminate what doesn't. It's choosing less on purpose. It isn't about being more disciplined, which a lot of people come to me and they're like, I think I just need to be more disciplined. I just need to lock in.

I just need to block schedule. I just need to lock in and get this on my calendar and make the time for it. And yes, like of course you need to lock in, babe. Like you need to make the time, yes. But you cannot do that if your business is complex and pulling you in a million different directions. Discipline is not going to solve the problem. Reducing complexity is where you start.

Candice (18:25.242)

And you do that by being more honest.

More honest about what you like, what you don't like, what's working for you, what's not, how much work you actually want to do, how much money you actually need to live your life. It's not just about what you choose, it's about what you also choose to ignore. And James Clare has this great quote that arrived in my inbox. By the way, if you're not subscribed to James Clare's weekly newsletter, highly recommend. It's just

Quotes that get you thinking. It's thought-provoking quotes from him, from other people, and a question he asks you. I love this. It inspires a lot of my coaching. It gives me things to think about, ruminate on. And literally, I'm building this presentation and he sends his quote out, and I'm like, this is so meant for me. It is. To simplify before you understand the details is ignorance. But to simplify after you understand the details is genius.

A beginner can't simplify what they don't know. But an expert needs to simplify. And to be able to simplify after you understand all the details is genius because you know what needs to change, you know where you're getting stuck, you know what is complex and hard. And that is where you're at right now, my friend. If this wedding season is bumming you out, if it feels hard, even if it feels 10% hard.

Even if you're not an old bitty like me and you're not, you know, feeling like, ugh, I don't feel like doing that. Maybe you still have a lot of life left in you and you've got a lot of excitement, but you recognize that it's harder to spend time on the things that excite you because you've got so much going on over here in this corner that's weighing you down. It's time for you to simplify. How are you gonna do this?

Candice (20:23.792)

You're gonna do this by thinking about, kind of thinking about it from a perspective of like, how would you clean out your closet? A closet is another great visual example. If your closet is bursting at the seams with a bunch of stuff that you have purchased over the years and not have gotten rid of, it's gonna be really hard to get dressed on a day. It's gonna feel really hard to make a decision about what to wear because first of all, you have to sort through all the clothes that are stretched out, that don't fit, that you bought 10 years ago.

That are not in style anymore to try to find something that's gonna make you feel good. Now, if you were to clean out your closet and get rid of all the things that don't bring you joy anymore and leave back the things that do, you would probably have a lot better personal style and getting dressed would feel easier and even more enjoyable. We're gonna do a proverbial clean out the closet, but complexity, discernment, and self-trust version.

So here's what I want you to do. I want you to think about it from these three kinds of filters. Filter number one, keep. What's working, what's still aligned with the business that you want to be running 12 months from now? These are the systems, the processes, the things that are working. Next, adjust. What fits but maybe has a drifted off center? It's not quite aligned with where you are.

So it needs to be reeled in. It's not broken. It just needs to be sort of recalibrated.

Candice (21:58.225)

And the next is ignore or eliminate. These are the things that are either loud that you need to just ignore because they're not meant for you, or they're things that need to be eliminated from your business. And this is the hardest one. And this is where I want you to spend the most of your time. Ignoring is an important one because so much of our time is consumed by other people's thoughts and ideas.

And at some point, we lease out our agency. And I want to talk to you a little bit about that.

Because this is where things kind of get a little sticky. You're listening to this podcast because you want to learn, you want to grow, you're in self-improvement mode, you're in business improvement mode, you want thoughts and ideas from a trusted source. I don't want you to stop doing that, obviously, but I do want you to turn down the volume on things that are not meant for you. And discernment.

Is the ability to listen to this podcast and be like, I appreciate Candace's perspective, but she's not talking to me right now. So I can listen to this, but I don't need to actually do anything because she's not describing my problem or she's not providing a solution that I need. Discernment and self trust gives you the ability to filter through good ideas, solutions, problems.

And know what is meant for you and what is not. What would happen to your marketing if you trusted yourself to come up with good ideas? What would happen to your Instagram if you stopped following what all the Instagram influencers tell you you should post for ideas? And you just started tapping into your intuition and you started sharing things that you were excited about that you thought were cool.

Candice (24:06.757)

What if you just stopped following the formula for success and you just started doing stuff that you enjoyed, sharing things that you enjoyed, sharing your work in a way that felt really good to you? What would happen? Well, I'm gonna tell you what would happen. First of all, you would feel really excited to share things because you're sharing from your perspective. You're sharing about things that you're passionate about. But secondly,

you'd actually start to carve out a small little space for yourself on the internet that people want to come and be a part of because it feels different. It doesn't feel like what everyone else is doing. Thereby differentiating yourself from others by being you.

That is a powerful thing. And that only comes from discernment and self-trust. So your three-lane filter is what to keep, what to adjust, what to ignore, and or get rid of.

I think most of you are stuck probably in adjust mode for things that probably should be in the ignore pile or let go of pile. And this is where a lot of that heaviness comes from. Now you can take the keep, adjust, ignore, or get rid of and apply it to a few areas across your business. I want you to be more discerning about things, focusing less.

On what people tell you to do and more about what you think is right for you and your circumstances. Okay? So when we're looking at our discernment lens, think about it like a pair of glasses that you put on and you focus on these things. One, services. I want you to tap into your intuition and really ask yourself, are you offering things that you have outgrown?

Candice (26:09.104)

Are you saying yes to things out of habit, out of scarcity, out of the belief that I need to book this or I need to offer this because this is what other people are offering? Every single day I watch business owners get rid of stuff and succeed so much better with a lighter calendar, a lighter menu of options, lighter workloads. What are you holding on to?

That you have outgrown, that you need to let go of. Second, clients. Are the current clients that you're working with a fit for the business that you want now? And if not,

What do you need to adjust or ignore or let go of to let that happen? And I would even point that lens more towards ignore or let go of before you seek adjustment. Because remember, our we get stuck in complexity when we get in that moral fix it loop. I need to change things, I need to add things, I need to tweak things. But what if you started letting go of

Those clients and the things that you are doing to attract them or to keep them. Next area, marketing. And this is something that everybody needs to pay attention to, and probably the easiest place to really begin. I see a lot of complexity in marketing. Softwares, tools. Everybody thinks they need to sit down and write some like mega marketing strategy. And while I understand the concept of that.

And I understand in order to post, you want to have some like overarching strategy that feeds into your goals and feeds into all these things. You are creating so much complexity in your marketing that you're making it impossible to market. You are putting so many obstacles, so many steps, so many things that need to be done in front of you that you are making it impossible to show up. And if you don't show up, you don't have a fucking business. So

Candice (28:19.128)

What are you doing that is adding so much complexity that you can reduce and simplify here to make this so much easier for you? Next is revenue. What's actually driving revenue in your business versus just kind of existing there? What are you offering that makes the most money? What does it make any money at all that you're still offering?

I see this a lot with photographers, with invitation designers, with floral designers. You are offering levels of service or specific products that are carryovers from years in your business. They do not make you any money. And they take up a considerable amount of your time.

Another area of complexity that deserves simplification is obviously team and systems. Thinking on the team side, who is adding complexity to your business? What role has just morphed into some Frankenstein role that is not efficient or effective? And what systems, processes, softwares do you have going for yourself that is adding so much complexity?

That you can either reduce all those automations that you hired somebody to build for you that are just not working, that promise salvation, and are adding complexity, or you are trying to make 50 different things talk to each other and it's not working out, and you've got to have 14 tabs open to just get a idea of how a project is moving forward.

This is your opportunity to let go of a lot of shit that's not working for you and to simplify.

Candice (30:10.3)

Final is creative work. And discernment and self-trust and simplification here is so important because I think at some point we lose our self-trust and we lease out decision making, not just to experts and other colleagues, but also to our clients.

And I see a pattern. This especially happens with designers and planners where they defer to their client. They let their client lead the design process. They let their client make decisions about design that are not right. And I know you're thinking, but it's their wedding, like they get a say. And you're absolutely right. But a strong designer and a strong expert is going to hold the line on design decisions that impact visual and logistics.

And is not going to defer to their clients on every idea and say, Well, what do you think? Do you like this? Is this what you wanted?

I want you to hear me really clearly because I think this is the crux of today's episode. You can stay busy, but not be effective. You can grow in your business, but it feels heavier and harder and not better. And you can burn out at a higher revenue level with a lot more on the line. And these are some of the

Consequences of letting complexity take over your business, not exercising your own judgment, your own self-trust and discernment. And let me tell you, burning out at a higher revenue level is hell. It is absolute hell because when you are making multiple six figures and you are burnt out, a lot of stuff starts going wrong and the pressure mounts because your business cannot operate without you.

Candice (32:18.981)

And it needs to operate because you have a lot of people that you're responsible for. And worst of all, all these things culminate and you start resenting the business that you built. You start looking at it and thinking, I don't love this. This doesn't feel good to me anymore. What was once fun feels hard. When I used to get an inquiry, I used to get excited. Now I don't feel anything or I feel like, ugh.

That is another person who is going to need me, want me, ask of me. And staying stuck at this level of business that you're at looks like these things continuing to get harder. You stay busy, but you're not effective. You grow, but things do not feel good. You burn out at a higher revenue level with a lot of complexity and a lot on the line, and you start resenting your business.

Candice (33:14.141)

One day you will wake up and you will look at a calendar and you will think, you will look at your calendar and you will think, What did I do? I've got all these meetings and all these appointments and all these things that I am responsible for, and I want to do none of it. So, what do we do? I want you to pick one area this week to focus on.

You're not gonna unclutter every closet in your business on day one, but pick a closet. And I want you to start going through it and think about what am I gonna keep? What am I gonna adjust? What am I gonna ignore or get rid of? And the adjust pile needs to be the smallest. The biggest pile needs to be ignore or let go of or get rid of. And keep should be.

underneath that. I want you to t make one decision at a time and move through one of the six areas, services, clients, marketing, revenue, teams and systems, or your creative work.

And we're talking a lot about business here, but I want you to know this isn't just a skill around business operations. I don't want you to just have discernment on that. I also want you to start applying discernment and self-trust towards the creative work that you do. Because in a sea of sameness, in an industry where everything is starting to look, sound, and feel the same, discernment is the one thing that's gonna make your work unmistakable.

And one of the operating standards that I laid out for my mastermind this year and you, and I did a whole episode on operating standards. So if you're not sure what I'm talking about, go back a few episodes, listen. But one of the operating standards that I laid out for 2026 for all wedding pros is a creative advantage that is rooted in taste, discernment, and judgment.

Candice (35:19.503)

And this is intentional because it gives you an edge.

Candice (35:27.643)

The wedding professional who knows what to keep out of the work, what knows not to include, what knows what trend has died, what trend is not gonna look good, what guest experience thing is not going to work, is the one who stands out. So this means for you guiding your clients instead of deferring to them, making bold creative choices and standing behind them. And let me just offer a caveat.

Bold does not mean edgy. Bold does not mean you need to plan a gothic wedding. You need to plan a red wedding. You need to use bold colors. Bold is interpreted by you. That's what it means to be a creative director. You look at the word bold and you have a vision for what that means for you and your clients. Follow that, okay? It means knowing what is right for the work and what isn't.

Seth Godin talks a lot about the work. Shipping the work, doing the work, knowing what is right for the work. You need to know what is right for the work and what isn't. What is right for the photography? What is right for the floral design? What is right for the invitation design. It also means saying no to.

What you see out there that does not serve the design or the work that you are doing. Anyone can pay attention, anyone can copy, anyone can add, but discernment is a skill that requires you slow down, you look around, and you make decisions and choices and edits based on what makes sense for you.

And editing is what's going to make you an artist instead of somebody who assembles things. We've been talking a lot about creative point of view. I've been working with my clients one-on-one on creative point of view, and I get asked all the time, Candace, I don't know how to define my creative point of view. Discernment is the skill that will help you, and it's about editing out things.

Candice (37:49.433)

not copying what other people do. I would love to know which of the five shifts that I mentioned maybe felt the most uncomfortable for you.

Candice (38:06.908)

I want to repeat that. let me start that. I want to know which one of the shifts that I mentioned felt the most uncomfortable for you and which one maybe even made you feel a little bit defensive or a little bit like, ooh, that's stung. Because that's probably the first one to look at. Your homework, pick one area of your business to critique and apply discernment to.

I want you to take just a few minutes this week, maybe just 10 minutes. You don't need 10 hours to do this, and run it through that keep, adjust, ignore, or get rid of. Make one decision based on discernment, not on what you think is right, not what on somebody told you to do, not on what you saw somebody say. That is your assignment. Secondary assignment for extra credit is to open up your phone, go to Instagram, go to candice.copala.

And tell me which one area of your business you picked and what you are deciding to get rid of or ignore. I want to know. I'm dying to know. Dying. All right, friend. Thank you for letting me share this idea with you. I hope that this stays with you and you start seeing things through the through the discernment goggles that I'm asking you to put on. I happen to think that these aren't goggles, but these are a beautiful pair of Selene glasses.

Glasses that just complement your face and you look like a million bucks. And most importantly, they reflect your personal style because that's what discernment is all about. It's why you chose this pair of glasses, right? So I would love for you to look through those glasses and apply discernment. And every time you are going to make a decision, instead of thinking, instead of seeking, I should say, instead of seeking validation.

From somebody else that you're making the right move, I want you to seek validation from your own wisdom and experience first. All right, friend. Well, this is the conversation we had on day one, talk one of the WPI retreat in my home. Thanks for listening to me and thanks for being here today. If you want to know more about Wedding Pro Insiders, you can sign up for the wait list at WeddingProInsiders.com to learn more about my mastermind and to be notified when we have a spot open up.

Candice (40:26.033)

Thanks for being here, friend. I want to remind you there's so much power in your purpose, and I'll see you next week.