Candice (00:04.984)

We spend so much time trying to get the sale, book the couple, post the content, pitch the vendor, design the wedding. But let me ask you something real. What are people saying about you when you're not in the room? That, my friend, might matter more than almost anything. And today, we're going to talk about it.

Hey there friends, welcome back to the Powered Purpose podcast. It's me, your host Candice, and I'm so glad that we're back after a brief hiatus. Just a little heads up that we will be taking a mini break in July. I have some travels and some things that I'm doing in July and I won't be recording the podcast. So we'll take a little mini break. This gives you an opportunity to catch up on some past episodes maybe you haven't listened to yet or to try out another podcast or listen to.

some non-wedding, non-business related shows, True Crime, Bravo, whatever your flavor is. But I look forward to coming back into wherever you listen in August with some really great content. We have an amazing summer podcast episode calendar lined up for you, a really great fall episode calendar lined up for you, and just some really great hot topics that I would love to talk with you about and explore here on the show.

And today we're talking about what people say behind your back and why it matters. Now, this topic was inspired by the women in my mastermind. We were just talking about brand awareness and up leveling your brand. If you don't know, I have an amazing mastermind for women in the wedding industry. It's called Wedding Pro Insiders. You can learn more about it by going to weddingproinsiders.com and jump on the wait list to apply. But we were just talking about this and some of the ladies were sharing some really amazing

Candice (01:56.834)

things that they were seeing online about what people were saying about them, reviews, recommendations on Reddit. And it really sparked the idea to create this episode to talk to you about what people are saying behind your back and how you can actually think about this in a more strategic way. Now in the wedding industry, we are in this constant chase for visibility. We want more followers. We want more engagement, more inquiries, way more yeses to whatever work we do. And I get it.

We're all running businesses and this is basically in the era of business that we're in, we're chasing visibility and we're competing for visibility. But there's something that I think we're neglecting in the pursuit of all that visibility. And it's something that has a much longer shelf life than an Instagram post, a viral TikTok, and yes, a thread. Although threads is getting out of hand.

And I have to be a big sister, I think, over there very soon and have a come to Jesus with everybody over there because people are whiling out on threads, talking a world of nonsense, making bold claims, outing vendors, talking about entire vendor categories. It's crazy. But there is something that lasts much longer than all of that. And it's your reputation. What people say about you behind your back.

their honest, unfiltered opinion of working with you. And that, my friend, is your marketing. And it's something that you can either build your business faster with, faster than any hashtag could ever, or it could quietly and quickly destroy your business. What people say behind your back matters in a big way.

And when you are not in a room, I want people to talk about how amazing you are, how talented, creative, encouraging, how nice you are, and what a pleasure it is to work with you. That's the ideal. And believe it or not, you can reverse engineer some of those complements by living in that truth.

Candice (04:19.51)

So let's talk about the problem that I'm seeing. We love the exciting parts of our job, the sales. Even if you don't like selling, you like making money. You look at that ching noise in HoneyBook that we so lovingly play on this podcast to remind you that HoneyBook doesn't cost you money. It's in the business of making you money. But you love the sales. Even if you don't like being a salesy, you love the aesthetic stuff. You love

Designing, you love the pretty, you love the webinars that you get to attend or be inspired by. You love education, you love learning and learning a hack or implementing something in your business. You love tweaking your website for the thousandth time, okay? You love whatever feels fun and creative. And that's what gets most of us into business. That's what we come to business for is the fun.

We didn't know that we'd be spending so much time just answering emails, unfortunately. But what happens when a couple of books you? What happens when the hard part starts? The late night emails, the anxious mother of the bride, the vendor who dropped the ball and now you have to fix it and you fix it in the quiet.

You don't go to threads and blast people and talk all this craziness. You fix it in the quiet. You don't tell anybody that you fixed it because that's not what this is about. That, my friend, is where your reputation is built. Your reputation isn't just about being nice and professional, although I think we need more nice and professional in our industry. OK, like we need that. It's getting crazy. It's how you follow through on the things that you promise.

It's the little things like, you know, not just how fast you respond to an email, but how you show up on wedding day. How you make your couples feel cared for.

Candice (06:21.867)

Ahem.

Candice (06:27.074)

you

And unfortunately, whether this is fair or not, you can be good the entire time. But if you handle one thing poorly, that's what's going to stick with people, as we can see on threads. Your worst day or your worst moment or your biggest mistake, unfortunately, in this day and age becomes fodder for people to talk about. And so, of course, you can't control everything people say. But I do think.

that you have a lot of control in what people say about you when you're not in the room. And people are going to talk about you behind your back. They're going to talk to other vendors. They're going to talk to their friends who are getting married. They're going to leave refuse. They're going to refer to you, or maybe not. And when your name comes up in a vendor meeting, or in a group chat, or in a wedding planning subreddit, what do you want them to say about you?

There's a ripple effect to what people say. And we've been talking about the ripple effect a lot because I've been thinking about the ripple effect in my patio chat with C10, which we got another patio chat coming up soon, I promise. We just, we got to get through the craziness of summer and then we're sitting down in the patio and we're going to let it rip. But the ripple effect to what people have to say matters. I mean, there are a million little things that come up when you're working with someone for an extended period of time.

a delayed email, an ignored DM, a half-hearted consultation, a tense or a slightly tense wedding day, but over time, those ripples add up. Now, if you wow a couple, they're gonna tell everybody. If you're easy to work with, if you're nice, if you're kind, if you lead with empathy and kindness, if you are responsive, and responsive doesn't mean having no boundaries and working 24-7, it just means honoring.

Candice (08:25.76)

when things need a response, knowing how to prioritize, knowing how to get back to people, knowing how to uphold your contract or end of the bargain. When you do those things, the ripple effect to that is going to be what you ultimately desire. You're building your reputation. If you leave a vendor feeling disrespected, if you leave people on red, if you do not respond quickly, if you drop the ball,

You might quietly or very publicly get blacklisted from future referrals. And trust me, I hear all about this girl because I'm the coach that people are coming to and saying, know, this insert the blank fender did this. What do I do? And we have to, we, we, I'm always leading with that. I'm like, maybe there's something going on in their life. Like we can give them some grace and we always extend grace to people. But sometimes people really don't receive the grace and give grace back. They double down.

And we have to have the hard conversation, are we going to refer to these people anymore? And I'm very quick to be like, I think you need to let this person go, unfortunately. I think they need to be on the do not refer list, because it's obvious that they're not prioritizing priorities. And at the end of the day, we've got to work with people who are easy, kind, and on the same wavelength as we are. And unfortunately, you'll never know it has.

When you're blacklisted by people, a planner, a photographer, a venue, a florist, a caterer, you will likely never even know what happened until one day you think, I haven't worked with Candice in a while. she must have found a new photographer. She must have found a new this. And you have to wonder, what is up with that? And if you're really curious, you might think,

Did I do something wrong? And you might even think, should I check in? And you might want to ask, hey, I haven't heard from you in a while. I hope you're well. And listen, if there was something that came up, and if you'd be open to sharing that with me or talking to me about it, I'd really like to hear.

Candice (10:45.602)

And that would be growth. But also we can try to course correct that if that's happened to you recently to make sure that doesn't happen again. Or we can make sure that the business you're building is something that people talk about behind your back in all the right ways. Because this industry is big girl. It is competitive, but it's actually very small. It is actually quite small.

And this matters now more than maybe it ever did. I mean, we're in a post pandemic hyper aware super online worlds. Couples are reading reviews, they're stalking your TikTok, they're asking their venues for recommendations and they're creeping into Reddit threads. Reddit is the number one search engine result when people put questions into Google. You cannot afford to neglect your reputation. You cannot afford to not make this an important part of your strategy.

And customer service isn't just about responding quickly or not messing up. Sometimes you have to deal with things or be blamed for things that are outside your control. And your reputation is the way that you make your couples or vendors feel seen and supported. And it's not the mistake, it's how you handle it, ultimately, that puts you in a positive light for people. That's the one thing I used to always tell my team. And it's a lesson I learned from myself. It's not the mistake you make, it's how you handle it.

And I would hold my team to that standard. I hold my team to this day to that standard. I hold myself to that standard. I hold my students to that standard. And I will hold you to that standard.

It's about doing the right thing, even when no one's looking. And as a coach, like I said, I see it all the time.

Candice (12:29.452)

The businesses that plateau, not because they aren't talented, but because their reputation quietly caught up to them. And I know you're listening to this and you're thinking, I know a guy. Like I know a guy in my market. Yeah, I don't refer to them. Their reputation quietly caught up to them. I mean, just last week I talked about setting boundaries and how sometimes in the sales process we are very fast to respond. And then once they book, we slow down. And this is one of my big gripes that I talk about a lot.

in my coaching programs. I'm like, guys, we can't be the best at sales and the worst at delivery. And that happens. Think about when you bought something from somebody, maybe you hired a coach and they were so great in the sale. And then girl, when it came time to fix your problems, like they were like, yeah, here's my spreadsheet. Yeah, here's this. They just kind of left you out to dry or they, they, they were so good at talking about the program or something. And then you got into it you're like, this is actually shit. This is terrible.

Think about a vendor that you've recommended to your clients who were so eager to accept that referral, but then when push came to shove, they weren't showing up. It quietly catches up. And we have to be as good in the sale as we are in the delivery. And I think as an industry, we really need to make sure that we are leaning into the service part of our business. Remember my episode about setting boundaries and we talked about this. If you haven't listened.

listen and go back and just re-listen to that episode. It was an important one. I talked about hospitality. Now we're losing this sense of hospitality in our industry, which is what our industry is based on. I we're right there alongside restaurants and hotels. I mean, we're hospitality. And more than ever, our marketing, more than our sales, more than any other other stuff, we have to lean into the service part of our business. So here's my challenge for you this week.

I want you to start thinking about how you can begin to build a reputation that works for you when you're not.

Candice (14:34.508)

At the next networking event that you couldn't make, or when your name pops up in a call, are they gonna be like, love Candice, she's so fun, she's so great, she's so great? Or are they gonna be like, she's so hard to work with, she's so opinionated, she's on threads bitching all the time, but her closet isn't clean, you know? Like, are people gonna be like, or are they gonna be like, love her? You know, one of the key,

ways that you maintain brand reputation is, is that you stay out of the bullshit. That's one way to really elevate your brand reputation is you stay out of the mess. You stay out of the messy group chats, the messy Instagram threads. When people want to talk shit about somebody, you don't take the bait. You're like,

okay. You change the subject, you act disinterested. Even if you agree with the person, you don't let your feelings be known because it's none of their business how you feel about stuff. You are very neutral and you stay focused on your clients and your work and you surround yourself with positive people. That is such an important way to build brand reputation. You don't fall for the bait and you don't fall for the gossipy moment where you could absolutely be like, I work with that photographer and they were terrible.

No, you don't fall for that bait. You just change the subject and you keep it moving because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. People will talk behind your back, especially if they feel comfortable talking behind other people's backs with you. So just keep that in mind.

But this year, I want this to be a year where when you, before you walk into the room, your brand has entered and people think positively about you. And I can think of a few people that I've coached and just a few people I know where that is their reality. brand, they, before they walk into the room, their brand does, and people are like, love them. They're so great to work with. They're so fun. They're so smart. They're so easygoing. They're so professional. They're so talented.

Candice (16:46.89)

love her. I want the same for you. And it starts by

removing any negative energy that you've surrounded yourself with. Then next, getting warped into, and next, not getting warped into any negative energy in the industry, not getting warped into it. Do not get warped into it. And then third, it's not just about what you're selling, it's how you're delivering and being obsessed with delivering.

what you promise and exceeding the expectation of your client, of the vendors that referred you, and just being professional and upbeat and good at your job. Those are recipes for having a great brand reputation. And when you add strategy to it and you think, I am going to be more thoughtful about this, it only helps to motivate you in being hyper aware about when you're in a negative space or when you are

not delivering on what you promise, being hyper aware of what you promise to people, what you say yes to, the boundaries you set, what you say no to, and how you lead in the industry. How you lead as a thought leader in your local market and maybe even nationally for some of you who are building brands that people recognize beyond the borders of your state or your city or your country.

Because that's the thing about business. At the end of the day, your brand isn't what you say it is. It's what other people, when your name come up in a room where there's an opportunity, it is. It's what people have to say about your brand when you are not in the room. That is what leads to having a long business life.

Candice (18:46.956)

And if you want to be in business 5, 10, even 15 years from now, you need people out there who sing your praises, who have good things to say about the work that you do and the people you serve and how you show up for your business, for your clients, and for the industry. So I hope that this episode has given you some things to think about. And I hope that you're thinking, I don't want you to be anxious about what people are saying behind your back. I want you to be.

motivated to course correct any negative things people might say to eliminate any gossipy or negative influences in your life Quite frankly to keep to yourself for a lot of things, know There are so many amazing talented people out there who just keep to themselves and they don't get involved in all the bullshit and they're so successful

They have amazing brands. have crazy awesome clients. They do beautiful work. People admire them and look up to them. And they're just not out here in all this messiness. And you might not even know about them. And that's OK, because the people who do know about them have the nicest things to say. So all that to say, you don't have to be so visible that you're in every group chat and on every thread and in every

in every hot take or every big conversation and that you keep your eyes focused on your own paper and the legacy that you are building and the purpose that you have for your work. And you also just keep in mind that I want people to say when I'm not in the room that I'm honest, that I'm trustworthy, that I am a nice person, that I keep my commitments, that I keep my promises, maybe that I'm fun, I'm nice to be around.

I make wedding days feel good. I'm a team player, a partner, an advocate that I care about the work, about the clients, about the people, about the legacy that they're building, and that I'm easygoing and nice to work with, and that I'm just, I'm part of the community that people wanna be around. If you can make that happen for yourself,

Candice (21:07.978)

You will never have a shortage of referrals. You will never have a shortage of clients. I promise you.

So the question remains, what are people saying about you when you're not in the room? All right, friends, thanks for listening to today's episode. I'm excited to touch base with you back in August when we're back here on the podcast. Stay tuned. We have some really fun things to share. Have a good July. Have a good little summer break. And I'll see you back here. I want to remind you there's so much power in your purpose. And I'll see you next time.