Candice (00:00.256)

Last week I debriefed our wedding pro insiders Barbados Retreat and today I wanted to share with you the same keynote that I delivered to the ladies of my mastermind that sparked so much momentum. Let's talk about being bold. You're here to grow a business, but not just any kind of business. You want to grow a profitable business with purpose, a business where you wake up every single day driven.

to serve your customers and make a difference in your own life. I'm Candace Coppola, published author, business coach, and your guide to building a profitable business with purpose. Join me here every single week as we explore how to build and grow your business with purpose. Get ready to dig in and have meaningful conversations about the strategies and techniques that will help you build your dream business. This

is the power in purpose.

Candice (01:02.222)

Hey there friends, welcome back to the Powered Purpose Podcast. It's me, your host Candace, and welcome to another retreat adjacent episode. I gave a keynote during the Wedding Pro Insiders Barbados retreat in April, and that keynote struck such a big chord with the women during their time in Barbados and really set the tone that I wanted to deliver the same keynote with a couple of modifications to you on the podcast because I think the message is so, so...

so important. We're sort of at an inflection place in the wedding industry. So much is rapidly changing. AI is taking over so much of our industry and is going to continue to shape and reshape how we do things, not just in business, but in the wedding industry in general. There are so many people in the industry starting businesses, maintaining businesses. The industry has become pretty saturated. Not a bad thing.

Just a fact. And what I see as a business coach behind the scenes is a lot of analysis paralysis and indecision and overwhelm from truly talented, gifted, creative, amazing entrepreneurs who are just stuck. And today's keynote is meant to get you thinking bigger, bolder, and to help you stop playing small. I want you to think of it kind of like the ultimate pep talk.

This is what I like to call a shank and a cuddle. It's where I give you a hard truth, but I do it in the most loving and thoughtful way with a warm embrace. It's a shank and a cuddle. Now a shank and a spank is where I give it to you hard and I don't let up. That's not what this keynote is about. But as I delivered this keynote, it was so wonderful for me as a coach and as the leader of my community to see how

much of an impact my words had on the women and their experience. And I'm hoping that my words to you today will have a very similar impact. We might not be in beautiful Barbados on my veranda, sipping Aperol spritzes and just living our best lives together, but I do believe that the words I'm going to share with you today have the power to transform how you lead for the rest of the year in your business and the things that you do.

Candice (03:28.526)

So treat this like the ultimate pep talk and come back to this episode whenever you need to be reminded just who you are. All right, friends. So this keynote was born out of a conversation that I had with one of the women who I will maintain her anonymity, but we're talking about her business in a one-on-one call a few weeks before the retreat. And she's making some really strategic big shifts in her business. Rebranding, new messaging, new marketing, maybe even calling in a whole new set of clients.

And we were discussing the merits of investing in this process. And she was deciding whether or not she was going to do certain things herself or if she was going to hire somebody to help her. And I encouraged her to not think small and to think bold and to make the investments in the boldness of her rebrand and in how she wants to show up. And that conversation snowballed thinking by me about what it means to play small.

why we should be leading more boldly and how we can do this in our businesses. It's been turning over in my mind and it was the reason why I gave this keynote at the retreat and it's what leads me here today with you guys. Now, the night before my keynote, I found myself laying awake in bed worried about so many things because I was delivering this keynote. I had never invited these ladies into my home. I had never done a retreat like this before. And of course I was nervous.

I was worried, what were they going to think? Was this good enough? And I was having all those same feelings that you have when you lie awake at night and you're worried or scared about something in your business or putting yourself out there. And I remembered that I built everything I have in my business and in my life by being bold. I didn't build it by being liked and I didn't build it by playing safe.

And often some of the greatest accomplishments that I've had in my business, whether it was writing two books, being featured in places, speaking at Engage, or I think my life's greatest accomplishment is being able to help you on this podcast and in my programs. All of that was never created, launched, or maintained from a place of playing it safe. And I had to dig pretty deep.

Candice (05:52.726)

and calm my nerves and remember who I am. And what I want this keynote to do is for you to remember just who you are, whether you were at the retreat or not and what you're capable of. Now you didn't start your business. You didn't even pick up this podcast and start listening to this show to stay small. I like to believe that we're connected in this way.

because you want to be bold and you want to play bigger. You're here because something inside of you is pushing you for more. A breakthrough, a shift, a bolder version of what you already know is possible for yourself. And to step into that, it's going to take a different level of boldness than maybe you've allowed yourself to access lately. Let's talk about what that actually means.

Starting your business wasn't just brave. It took a whole lot of freaking courage. It actually was a wild idea. There were probably people in your life who doubted you. You might've even doubted yourself. Starting your business was audacious. It took a shit ton of audacity for you to launch a website, name your business, get a business bank account.

start marketing yourself and putting yourself out there with whatever limited experience you brought to your business. But when you started your business, I can probably guarantee that outside of insecurities and imposter syndrome and doubts that you might've had, it was probably a full body yes from you. Because you saw something in your business that nobody else could see. Nobody but you. When you started your business,

You started it under probably not the best circumstances. It wasn't always the best time to start a business. You might've been a new mom trying to find freedom, trying to find a way to have a meaningful career, but also to be home with your family and to raise your children. Maybe you were laid off from your job and you were like, I have to do this. It's my calling, but it's not an ideal circumstance because you need money. You need money to start a business, let alone to supplement your income.

Candice (08:10.156)

Maybe you were burnt out and you started your business out of frustration with your career. Maybe you were just done asking for permission to live your life on your terms and you were tired of lining someone else's pockets or living to someone else's standards in a corporate job. The odds are they were stacked against you. All of us started our businesses in less than ideal circumstances. I had appendicitis. I was on the couch. I wasn't even engaged. I had a boyfriend.

And I had a job that sucked so bad. I hated it. It was horrible. My job was horrible. The doctor I worked for was horrible. The environment I worked in was extremely toxic. And I fell trapped. I said, I can't do this for the rest of my life. I don't want to live this way. I got to do something about it. And while our stories may be different, I know they're similar because we all start out of frustration and the desire to make things better.

And you started your business out of nothing and you made something out of nothing. And one thing that I want you to realize is that version of you, the one who didn't wait to feel ready, they're still in there. They did not disappear. They did not go anywhere. And when we start a business, we're so motivated and so energized. But over time, that energy wanes. We lose a bit of momentum.

We know too much about too many things. We can feel burdened bogged down. And so that version of ourself that we're constantly looking for, it feels like we lost that part of ourselves. But I want you to know that that part of you did not disappear. It's likely that she or they, they're just buried under the noise, the expectations, the comparison, and the fear that we develop over years of owning a business.

and trying to succeed. And now it's time for you to tap in to that version of you who was so audacious and so bold, who started something and made something out of nothing under less than likely circumstances with naysayers and people maybe in your own family who didn't think you were capable of it. It's time for you to remember who the fuck you are and harness some of that

Candice (10:35.252)

New Girl Energy, which you know I love. You've heard me talk about New Girl Energy before. Harness some of that New Girl Energy and remember what you're capable of. New Girl Energy is so special. It's electric, it's brave, it's audacious, and it's really the possibility before fear catches up. It's the possibility that these things can happen. Why wouldn't they happen for me?

Why won't I be successful at my business? Why won't I book a client? Why can't I be a tastemaker or a leader in the industry? Why is that not possible for me? That's what new girl energy is. It's the possibility before fear, before emails, before mistakes, before pressure and stress catches up to you. Now, one of the things I love about new girl energy is how naive we are when we start our businesses, but that's not just what makes

New Girl Energy is so special, although being naive is a superpower. It's like the Dunning-Kruger effect, right? The less you know, the more confident you are. But New Girl Energy is about being tapped into your own potential before the world told you to tone it down, before society told you to tone it down, before the industry said, you're too much, or that's not the right way to grow your business. That's not the right-

brand color to use if you want to attract luxury clients. That's not the right messaging to use if you want to attract luxury clients. New girl energy is about being tapped into your own potential before the world and the industry told you, mm-mm, hold on, nope. That's not the way we do things around here. And you know what I say to that? Fuck that. So what I want you to do,

is tap into the potential that's still there, that new girl energy that's still there. I want you to reconnect with that part of yourself and let that part of yourself lead again. Make decisions about where you're going again. Set your goals for this year. Be inspired by what you're trying to do with your business.

Candice (12:52.654)

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It's perfect for the wedding industry and for anyone looking to grow their business with email marketing. Go to Candace Coppola.com slash flow desk to sign up for your free trial where you can start designing beautiful email campaigns while I teach you about marketing here on the podcast. That's Candace Coppola.com slash flow desk to start your free trial and use the code Candace 50 at checkout to save 50 % off your first year.

Check it out and see what's possible. And thanks to Flowdesk for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. Now let's get back to the episode. Now we play small in our businesses for so many different reasons, but here's the truth that I want you to know. You didn't lose your boldness. You didn't lose being bold. Things just got heavier. Heavier with expectations, heavier with fear, heavier with the pressure to be perfect all the time.

Candice (15:09.706)

We're in an industry where perfection, we say, doesn't exist, but then on our websites, it's like, we'll help you plan the perfect wedding. Perfection is all throughout the wedding industry. Your life got busier and heavier with running a business, trying to make everybody happy, heavier with all the shoulds, I should do this, I should do that, and heavier with burnout and forgetting what you even wanted from your business in the first place.

which happens to all of us. You can't necessarily escape it. You arrive at it. Every entrepreneur gets burnt out at least once. I'm willing to bet a lot more than that. And somewhere along the way, you started measuring your success, not by your courage, but by your outcomes. Think about that for a second. Think about what was the tipping point for you where you stopped measuring your success by your courage to take action.

to put yourself out there, to not care what other people think, to unreasonably believe in your eventual success. And instead, you started measuring it by outcomes. How many followers do you have? How many weddings do you have booked? How many tented weddings did you photograph this year? What were the budgets of those weddings? During the retreat, Carla ...

of the big takeaways that I didn't even mention in last week's episode, but it's so perfect for this moment and I'm glad I got to save it. She said, you know, people ask me all the time, how many weddings do you have booked? She's like, fuck that. Why don't you ask me how many vacations do I have planned this year? That is a measure of success. How many vacations do you have planned this year? I guarantee not enough.

think about this for a second and think about when did this happen to you? Maybe it hasn't, but for some of you, I know it has. When you began to confuse safe with being strategic, you're just going to play it safe. That's strategic, a measured approach. And trust me, girl, some of you guys need measured approaches, especially when it comes to spending money. That's where the shank and the spank comes in today. You got to dial back some of those expenses. You're spending too much money. But sometimes we confuse being safe, playing it safe with being strategic.

Candice (17:29.228)

And you started shrinking so that your fears would shrink too. But instead your fears got bigger and your strategy got a lot smaller. I don't think you came this far in your business to get better at staying stuck, doing the thing that you're not happy doing or playing business in small mode, not fully showing up who you are, your personality, your beliefs, your values.

your opinions on things. And I'm not talking spicy hot takes. I'm over spicy hot takes. Okay. I'm not talking about saying something that gets, you know, people talking. I'm talking about you standing strong in your convictions and being anchored in your ideas, in your positive ideas, in your creative ideas, in your design ideas, in your ideas about how to treat people or how to run a business or how to show up for your clients or how to show up as a parent.

You didn't come this far just to get better at being stuck. You came here to build something that reflects who you are. You came here because you were passionate. You had purpose. You were driven by something bigger than you. And that starts with being bold enough to ask big questions and bold enough to take action, even if you don't have all the answers yet. And somewhere along the way, we stop doing that.

And my encouragement for you today is to stop playing small and to start asking bold questions again and being bold enough to take action even if you don't have all the answers yet. Because you know that action creates clarity. The more action you take, the more you do, the clearer your next steps become. Because you're halfway there. You know what to expect.

and you're able to make decisions based on the small steps you took to get to where you are. But there's another component to this that we have to talk about, and that is that the wedding industry is noisy. It's so easy right now to blend in. It's so easy right now to second guess your voice, your opinion. It's so easy to just wait around for somebody to pick you, whether it's pick you to be on a podcast, pick you to feature them in their magazine.

Candice (19:47.021)

pick you to be their wedding planner, their invitation designer. But if you study anybody who has been successful, anybody that you admire, you're going to notice something. And that's because success leaves clues. The successful people that you admire right now, it's not that they don't have insecurities. It's not that they don't second guess themselves. They move in spite of those limitations. They don't wait to be chosen.

They don't wait to be ready. They stake their claim. They plant their flag on their voice, their ideas, their expertise before anyone else gives them permission. They give permission to themselves to be fully seen and to be bold. So if you want the industry to notice you, sister, you need to start being bolder. If you want clients to take notice of you, if you want vendors to trust you, if you want

press to feature you, you have to notice yourself first. You have to give yourself permission to be bold, to put yourself out there. And this is where audacity comes in. This is where that unreasonable audacity comes in. You don't have to be the loudest person in the room either. You don't have to be the loudest person on threads complaining their head off or talking a world of bullshit. That's not what this is. It's not about being the loudest. It's about being the most grounded.

in your vision for yourself, for your contribution to the industry, and how you are going to lead. Now, this message is for anybody who has been feeling stuck, who knows they're playing it safe, who's not present in their marketing, who likes to tinker behind the scenes and just be in the background, who dims their light when brighter lights enter the room.

who doesn't want to bother people by following up for a sale or by sending them a DM to see if they're interested in their photography services. This is for the person listening who has a dream to be on a podcast but hasn't allowed themselves to be courageous enough to apply to be on that podcast. This is for somebody listening who wants to start their own damn podcast, who has ideas and opinions and a calling to serve.

Candice (22:12.158)

others who wants to share their ideas with the world. But for some reason, they're playing it small. This message is for you. If you want the industry to notice you, if you want people to pay attention, you need to start being bold and put yourself out there in ways that might frighten you. But I promise they're a lot easier than you think. And while I gave this keynote at the retreat,

In my veranda, in Barbados, you don't need a plane ticket. You don't need to be in WPI, although you should be, but you don't need to be, that's the truth, to start moving differently, to start being different. You can be bold right now. And there are four things that I want you to do. The first is to start asking bold questions. Do not shrink your vision to match your comfort zone.

If you have a business coach, I want you to go and ask them a bold question and watch a bold answer appear. Stop playing small with the questions that you ask, whether it is questions you're asking in a consultation, questions you're asking of your industry peers, questions you're asking of the industry at large or your business coach. Ask bold questions. Bold questions will yield bold answers. Next, I want you to listen boldly.

Take an advice. Trust your gut more than the noise. Trust your gut more than this podcast. I might be one of the few business coaches who will tell you like, girl, you have what it takes. You have everything you need to be the next insert the blank. You don't need a course. You don't need a membership. You don't need a mastermind or some frigging download to get to where you need to go. It helps and it's a short

cut if you treat it as such. But a lot of times we don't listen, take in advice, and then also trust our gut more than the noise that we hear out there. I want you to start listening boldly, not just to what you hear from clients or from the industry, but listen boldly to yourself. Think about all the decisions you made about your business before you knew they were wrong, before somebody told you, I wouldn't do it that way.

Candice (24:35.01)

or that's not the best way to go about doing that. Think about all those decisions that you made, that bold action you took by listening to your gut and listening to advice, but, you know, filtering it through your own senses. That's what I want us to tap into. Next, you got to act boldly. So as much as you ask bold questions, you listen boldly, you got to act boldly. Don't wait until the plan is perfect. Stop waiting.

Stop waiting. Mel Robbins says, nobody's coming to save you. And she's right. She's absolutely right. Nobody's coming to save you. Stop waiting. Stop watching. Your dreams pass you by. Your ideas get eaten up by other people. Stop waiting until things are perfect and just build as you go. Action creates clarity. The more action you take, the clearer things will become.

The more you sit in indecision, analysis, paralysis, the more you stress, an imposter syndrome, and the less action you take, the more clouded your thoughts will be. The harder it will become. In fact, the boldest thing you can do right now is take action on something that you have been procrastinating on. Send the email, respond to the email, fire the client, apply for the podcast, hire the business coach.

Do the thing. Post the thing on Instagram. Stop waiting. Act boldly. And finally, I want you to ask for bold support. You're not too much. Your ambition is not too much. We can't do this alone. We're not meant to. Human beings are not meant to be alone and business is not meant to be spent alone in your dungeon of an office, at your computer 24-7, with no joy.

No fun, no play, no fresh ideas. We're better in community. So you need to start asking for bold support. That might mean hiring somebody to help you because girl, you can't do it all yourself. And nobody is expecting you to, by the way. Nobody's expecting you to, only you are expecting yourself to do that. It could be hiring a coach. It could be asking your local community if they want to start a peer mastermind. I don't care.

Candice (26:54.016)

You need to ask for bold support from your spouse, from your partner, from your family, from your team, and from your community. So let me leave you with this. The version of you who built everything that you have today. By the way, there was a time where you prayed for what you have. Whether you literally prayed because you're a religious person or you manifested or you tapped or you wished, you obsessed.

There is a version of you who's looking at what you have right now and they're like, that's what I want. That's what I prayed for. So don't forget that. Show gratitude for where you're at, even if it's not fully where you want to be. But the version of you who built everything that you have today, she didn't wait to be picked. They didn't wait until it was perfect. He didn't move waiting for things to be perfect first. They moved imperfectly, boldly anyway.

They did it in spite of not having all the answers and not having everything figured out and not being perfect themselves. And it's time for you to remember just who the fuck you are. A bold, driven, talented, creative, awesome person who deserves to have a business, clients that support you. And now that you can tap in and remember who you are, I want you to go.

and act like it. All right, friend, that's your big shank and cuddle for the day. I hope this has got you thinking bolder and bigger, and I hope you would feel inspired to tap into the version of yourself who's still there and who's been waiting for you to call her up and let her take the lead. I want to remind you there's so much power in your purpose. Go and be bold this week. Do something

fucking crazy and bold. I'm watching. I'll see you next week. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode of the Power and Purpose Podcast. If you enjoyed the show, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode and consider leaving a review. Head over to powerinpurposepodcast.com to access all of the resources and links mentioned in today's episode.

Candice (29:15.502)

It's Power and Purpose Podcast dot com. I'll see you next time.