Candice (00:00.278)

Is the wedding industry really scamming couples without wedding tax? No. But this conversation keeps coming up a lot on threads and believe it or not, this has been a conversation that's been happening for many years. With weddings more expensive than ever and with couples more skeptical than ever about rising costs and wedding vendors. I think it's time that we have a conversation here on the podcast about the wedding tax.

and my opinion on it might surprise you. You're here to grow a business, but not just any kind of business. You want to grow a profitable business with purpose, a business where you wake up every single day driven to serve your customers and make a difference in your own life. I'm Candace Coppola, published author, business coach, and your guide to building a profitable business with purpose. Join me here every single week

as we explore how to build and grow your business with purpose. Get ready to dig in and have meaningful conversations about the strategies and techniques that will help you build your dream business. This is the power in purpose.

Candice (01:18.85)

Hey there friends, welcome back to the Power and Purpose podcast. It's your host Candice and we're going all in today on this conversation around the wedding tax. If you've never heard this term before, congratulations. You've managed to escape this conversation up until now. I've been combating this narrative since I started in my business many, many, many years ago.

Believe it or not, this concept of wedding tax has been around long before threads, long before Instagram, and long before many of you guys started your wedding industry business. And it's not something that we've spoken about in depth here on the podcast. And I thought now's a good time to have this conversation because rising costs of weddings, couples spending more than ever, you are looking to probably raise your price. And with this

wedding tax conversation really coming to a head on threads. I think it's time that we talk about it. And that's what we're going to do today. So whether you're a vendor or even a couple planning a wedding, you've probably heard this term or someone allude to a wedding tax, but what does it really mean? And how do we tackle it as an industry that is constantly under scrutiny? The wedding industry is constantly under scrutiny from clients,

from vendor against vendor scrutiny. We are constantly having conversations about our pricing, about our ethics, about our values, about cost. And how do we combat all of this in an industry where quite frankly, we're underpaid? That's the kicker of this whole thing, which we'll get into in a second. So first, let me just paint a picture of what the wedding tax is for anybody who is new to this term.

In case you've been fortunate enough to escape and not experience this yet, the wedding tax is this belief that wedding vendors randomly raise their price whenever they hear the word wedding. This means that some folks out there believe that as soon as they inquire with you about their wedding, you are somewhere in the deep dark evil lair that you live in, maybe in your basement.

Candice (03:34.092)

And you're like, yeah, baby, they said the word wedding, instant price increase. I'm instantly gonna increase my DJ rates or my floral rates or my planning rates or my photography rates by 50 % because they mistakenly said the word wedding. We all know that's complete bullshit, but this is a narrative that's out there online. And it's out there, what was alarming to me was that very intelligent, smart, accomplished folks

with coins, were asking, what's the deal here and does this exist? And I was like, I sat up straight. I was like, excuse me, you should not be believing in this so-called wedding tax hype. But the fact that you're asking this question shows me that we should be doing better as an industry to combat your objections. I was doing a little research on Reddit to prepare for this podcast. By the way, if you're not researching anything on Reddit, whether it's Housewives or Wedding or whatever your

secret thing that you love to research. I love Housewives. on every Bravo channel. I love space. I love skincare. And of course I love weddings. And I was on Reddit doing some research and kind of tapping into the conversation over there. And one thing that kept coming up was the advice or the question about whether someone should lie about what their event was all about. People kept asking in posts like,

Should I lie when I'm inquiring with my DJ and tell them I'm not having a wedding, that this is just a random party on a Saturday night at one of the most expensive wedding venues in town? I'm to myself, are you serious? No. But that is the conversations that are happening on Reddit. And if it's happening on Reddit, then it's probably happening in other spaces too. I find Reddit is such a great microcosm.

of conversations and opinions that people have on a variety of topics, especially weddings. So go get you a burner account and get on Reddit and start paying attention to what people are saying. It's going to help you understand couples better. Maybe not every ideal client is over on Reddit, especially if you're the super duper Uber, Uber luxury market. But for most of us who are in the mid luxury market, the conversations that are happening there are important. But in the wedding industry, we know

Candice (06:00.062)

that the wedding to tax does not exist, full stop. And if it costs more to book our services, that's a reflection of the amount of work that weddings require. And also this skill set required to perform at a wedding, because a wedding is a total different ballgame than a family reunion, a birthday party, or a company or corporate event. And beyond just the higher stakes that weddings demand and require, which is honestly very valid,

The customer doesn't care about that though. They don't care that the stakes are higher. They don't care about the dynamics you have to navigate through. They don't care about any of that. But we also have to acknowledge that with weddings comes months, even years of planning. And I'm not just talking about wedding planners. I'm talking about my invitation designers that send 85 emails between them and a client just to get the wording and the language down on the invitation, right?

So we're talking hundreds, potentially thousands of emails shared over a year, meetings, dissecting things. There's so much that goes into planning a wedding and it's unlike any other event, which, you know, some may require more attention to detail, especially for special milestones or celebrations, but no, we're even close to what a wedding commands and demands. Now, the problem is here that your customer doesn't care about all of that.

They don't care about all of that. And you don't need to start pumping out Instagram reels trying to educate them on that either. They simply don't care. Let me do that for you. Let me pump out the Instagram reels and you can go and share them on your Instagram like see, there is no wedding tax. So how do we make them see it? How do we combat this? When the reality of the situation is there is no evil air where wedding pros are just jacking up

prices anytime they hear weddings. The truth of the matter is, what I wish more couples understood, was that most wedding pros are under pricing themselves. And they actually go through months long anxiety, raising their rates by just $500, which by the way, they need to do in order to absorb the rising costs that they as a business owner are experiencing. And it just seriously pisses me off.

Candice (08:26.566)

because I know what a struggle it is for all the creative artists out there in the wedding industry to make meaningful income. So when somebody thinks that you are just sitting around counting your coins and doing evil deeds to make incredible amounts of money, I think we can all collectively roll our eyes because that is just not true. And if it were true, if it were true,

You would be rolling in a lot more money than you're rolling in right now. Your bank account would be reflecting your evil deeds. And we know it doesn't. We know it doesn't. The truth is, is the wedding industry is run largely by female-owned businesses, but not even that. It's mostly small family-run businesses, small business owners who are trying to apply a trade or a craft, and you're looking to support your family.

and support your meaningful life in your small business. Where small businesses, just like the mom and pop hardware store on the corner, just like the small restaurant in your hometown, that's what a wedding industry business is. And believe it or not, all of those businesses struggle to make ends meet. All small businesses struggle to pay the bills, to pay their team, to pay their employees and their staff. And the truth of the matter is that most wedding industry pros pay out

everybody else before they pay themselves. They're paying their virtual assistant, their second shooter, their marketing manager, their software companies they need to stay alive, the rent over their head. They're paying the power company, the internet company. They're paying all these people before they're paying themselves. That's the truth of the matter, but whether we like it or not, and irregardless of that truth, couples have a point. Weddings are expensive.

and they're getting even more expensive. They're getting even more expensive for the people who can afford to do really cool shit. As a wedding pro, you've probably seen this shift where you're like, four years ago, you wouldn't be telling me that you can't afford to bring in a second shooter for your wedding. And now you're telling me you can't? There has been an inflation on the cost of goods across the board.

Candice (10:43.004)

There's higher operating costs for those of us with a team and really just even those of us who are solo, there's still higher operating costs. know, HoneyBook just raised its rates and for many of you guys who subscribe to that software, you've seen an increase in your software costs, but also it's not just exclusive to CRMs and other softwares. And what I really want to help you do in this episode is I want to help you feel confident that you can debunk these myths, but also

Most importantly, I want you to feel good about what you're sharing and the work that you're doing in an industry that constantly tells us that we're not worth the price point that we're charging. That's the truth of the matter. Because if we don't charge for those extra hours of work, who's going to charge for it? Are we supposed to just subsidize someone's wedding?

out of our own pocket. This is one of my favorite things to remind wedding pros of when they are afraid to raise the rates. And we've done the math together, especially women in my mastermind. And it's ever so obvious, ever so clear that they need to raise the rates. I like to look at them and say, are you then willing to pay for some other person's wedding? Because that's exactly what you're doing by not charging enough to meet the rising costs and demands. And that's what you, my friend, are doing if you don't charge what you need to charge in order to cover.

your overhead and the rising cost of doing business plus your salary. You're essentially paying for a couple to have their wedding photography in some form or fashion or to put food down on the table and it's not fair and it shouldn't be that way. So there are a few things that we have to talk about today in order to combat this narrative and I want to explore the edges. I'm going to admit to you that I don't have all the answers here. I don't know every answer to every objection around the wedding tax.

And there are some things that I think we have to consider and that we have to think about and even maybe talk about as a community more. The first is have weddings become too expensive? I'm going to talk about what we can do as vendors, but I first want to talk about it from the couple's point of view. There has been a huge increase in budgets over the last few years.

Candice (12:57.744)

I see couples really, they realize at some point that they're going to need to spend more in order to have what they saw on TikTok or what they saw on Pinterest or Instagram. But with that said, while couples are raising their budgets and what they're willing to spend, they're also getting less and less. I saw one planning, wedding planner talk about on threads how the average budget used to be 50K and now it's 100K.

And while I totally agree for that planner, it likely has increased because in order for them to do their job, couples need to spend more money. But that's a huge jump, wouldn't you agree? That's double the cost. And while weddings aren't the only place that we're seeing a huge increase in cost in these kind of jumps, it's just important to acknowledge that the buy-in for weddings has risen dramatically over the last five years. It's risen dramatically.

Where's all this extra money going? Where are couples investing their money and how is that contributing to this narrative? Couples are paying a high price for their venue. We cannot deny that. And many couples are becoming venue poor. That's just a fact. And it's not necessarily the venues that are the evil doers in the lair. mean, running a venue and owning a venue is in

It is abinoxiously expensive and it comes with so many liabilities that for those of us who don't have a property and don't have 400 people stepping foot on our grass, can't even comprehend between staffing and insurance and liability.

and maintenance, the costs of running a venue are insane. If you own your own home, then you can sympathize because it's one thing to rent, it's another thing to own. But the truth of the matter is, that venues are making sure their costs are covered. And I can't speak to whether they're extremely profitable or not. I have to believe that they're profitable, but I also have to believe they're in the same boat that we are, where they're just getting by. But couples are venue poor.

Candice (15:15.43)

And that is a big problem. It's feeling like as soon as they book their venue, everything else becomes out of reach. We're also seeing couples invest money in new wedding trends, things like live calligraphy, floral chandeliers, which aren't necessarily a new wedding trend, but they've become mainstream. It's kind of like, you have to have this. You've got to decorate your tent this way. You've got to do a big install in the ceiling. It's become normalized. Things like live painters.

which used to be somewhat inaccessible to the average couple, but now it's way more accessible and it's become way more mainstream, which by the way, I love. I think it's fantastic. I love seeing all these layers added to the wedding, but if the budget is still $100,000, we've got to pull from other areas. And if we're spending over 50 % on our venue and catering, that does not leave a lot of room.

We're also seeing couples splurge on luxury experiences with, you know, maybe a guest list that, you know, requires they spend more money in other areas. And so this is all contributing to how couples are feeling and just how things are being navigated in our industry. And

I don't think it's the fault of wedding magazines or bloggers. It's not that they're showing this aspirational work and then suddenly somebody with a smaller budget is trying to make that happen for themselves. It's not necessarily us planning styled shoots and showing what's possible. mean, that's been going on since I started my business. But across the board, weddings have dramatically shifted.

What is required at your wedding now is so much different than it was five years ago. And especially as far back as 10 years ago. I mean, what people were doing in 2015 can't even touch the level of design and investment that is happening in weddings right now. And then of course we have to talk about just overall inflation. And I hate to say it, but we might be on the precipice of a recession.

Candice (17:33.082)

right now in the United States. So just don't know what's going to happen with tariffs and some of the things that are going on in the US. mean, what we're going to experience now, the thought processes is that it'll pay off later, but that does mean that you may have to suffer now and that with the rising costs of things, costs of things are just rising beyond what is acceptable. It's all playing a role.

in the expansiveness of weddings. And on top of that, Gen Z is here and they have different shopping patterns, different buying patterns. They see things differently and they want a different experience for their weddings. And we have to ask, what is Gen Z value? I saw something the other day that said Gen Z values experiences over extravagance. And quite frankly, I loved that. But let's be honest.

Experiences are extravagant. I mean, I hate to be the voice of reason here, but it's just the truth. You can't have an incredible experience without investing money in that. I'll never forget one of my most favorite clients who has taught me so many amazing lessons as a planner. She hired me with no experience in planning a home wedding. Her

son's wedding was the first home wedding I ever planned. And this was a big deal. We basically had like James Brown at this wedding. Okay. It was a big deal. She said, Candace, I expect your bill to be higher because I want you to bring a bigger team. While this wedding is casual, and I use the term casual loosely, but while I want the wedding to feel casual and effortless, and I want this to be an experience, I know it costs money to make that happen. And she was correct.

So experiences cost money. Experiences are extravagant. Hey friend, hear that noise? That's the sound of HoneyBook depositing cold hard cash into your bank account. HoneyBook is an all-in-one client flow platform that helps you manage your leads, send wedding proposals, and sign more contracts all with the click of a button.

Candice (19:47.602)

HoneyBook also offers a variety of resources and materials to help you grow your wedding industry business. One of my favorite features of the HoneyBook platform is actually the community of creative entrepreneurs just like you. HoneyBook is offering listeners of the Power and Purpose podcast 35 % off any of their three plans for your first year. 35%. It's an amazing deal. Use the code PURPOSE at checkout or go to CandaceCoppola.com slash HoneyBook to learn more.

That's Candace Coppola.com slash HoneyBook. And thanks to HoneyBook for sponsoring this episode of the Power in Purpose podcast. Today's episode is brought to you by our partner, Flowdesk. Flowdesk is an email marketing software used by thousands of creative entrepreneurs just like you to grow their business and their brand. What I love most about Flowdesk is just how easy and simple it is to create stunning and effective email marketing campaigns

in just a few clicks. It's perfect for the wedding industry and for anyone looking to grow their business with email marketing. Go to CandaceCoppola.com slash flow desk to sign up for your free trial where you can start designing beautiful email campaigns while I teach you about marketing here on the podcast. That's CandaceCoppola.com slash flow desk to start your free trial and use the code Candace50 at checkout to save 50 % off

your first year. Check it out and see what's possible. Thanks to Flowdesk for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. Now, let's get back to the episode. Now, in addition to that, Gen Z values things like sustainability. Sustainability costs money. To be able to provide a more green experience or to be able to provide a more sustainable experience, that adds onto the bill.

The whole point is not to do fast fashion or not to invest in cheap, teamu or sheen style stuff. But if we're going to go that route, we're going to spend more money to be more environmentally conscious and friendly. Now couples have more information than ever, but the misinformation is wild. Can we agree that the misinformation out there in the wedding industry is absolutely crazy?

Candice (22:10.022)

Sometimes I scroll threads and I have to remind myself like, you don't have to get invested in every fight or every battle. And I hate to say it, but the misinformation also comes from wedding vendors. And of course we know where it comes from as well. Some of those big websites that will remain nameless on this podcast, but you know who I'm talking about. The people who have been feeding the disinformation wedding machine for decades. Now,

Let me just give you an example of some of the misinformation. Someone on Reddit asked if they should spend 14K on a wedding planner. There were dozens of comments telling them just to get a day of coordinator with zero context. I'm thinking to myself, you can't compare the two. Investing 14K in the experience, which is what you value most, is beyond hiring somebody for just a day of coordinator.

Now, Gen Z is online, and so I don't think we can just sit back and ignore these conversations. I think we need to be a part of them. But like I said, I don't think you need to be pumping out education rails. If you remember on a previous podcast episode when I was talking about the trends for marketing this year, one of those trends is not to do these things because couples don't care. And it's really, it's not the type of content that's going to bring you clients.

So we have to find different ways to educate couples on the real costs of weddings. And the fact that there isn't necessarily a wedding tax is just that weddings are freaking expensive. So let's talk about what I think wedding pros need to do in order to talk about this concept, the wedding tax. Let's first begin by tackling the wedding tax myth. If you're in the ultra luxury market,

You can just ignore this if I'm just being completely honest. If you're working on million dollar events, I love that you listen to my podcast, but girl, this does not apply to you. I mean, you might have some friction and rich people do have one thing where they're like, why the fuck is this so expensive? And it's it's flowers. I mean, you have floral arrangements delivered to your home every week for like $800 for your foyer. And you're asking me why it's costing $50,000 for ceremony flowers, but

Candice (24:26.608)

I digress. If you're in the ultra, ultra, ultra luxury market, a lot of what I'm, you're not going to combat this if ever, but for all my friends who are in the luxury or the mid luxury market, or maybe you're aspiring to be in that market, you are going to combat this. It's just a fact. The rest of us, we do need to look at how we can do things differently to help couples understand. So here are a few ways that I think we can do that. The first is championing

transparency without being overwhelming. We can't hide prices. We have to be completely transparent. And the truth of the matter is Gen Z values transparency. require it. It's not that you say value it, they require it. And we as wedding vendors need to be very transparent about our businesses, what it costs. So this means no more hiding prices, no more information dumps, no more word salads about stuff.

that doesn't make sense. mean, be very clear, be very concise and be very transparent in your messaging and in the information that you give clients. And I want you to stop over explaining stuff because this makes couples feel like you're hiding something. I just read something the other day. One of the women in my mastermind forwarded me an email and it was, you know, a pitch to her. I won't get into the details, but it was a pitch. And she's like, should I do this? And the opening line was like some absolute word salad.

What does this even mean? What kind of event are they trying to get you to attend? I have no idea what this means. And I see a lot of wedding pros do that where you're over explaining and you're throwing in a bunch of buzzwords to try to explain your services or to showcase value in your marketing. And Gen Z doesn't want to read that shit. They want a clear price. They want to know, they want to clearly understand what you do and they want to be able to marinate on that.

ask you some questions, make sure you're the right fit and move on, which quite frankly is refreshing, if I have to be honest. Now, I want you to remember giving people a long list of things that you include in your service is not gonna win you any favors. I really don't believe that Gen Z wants to read a list of ingredients about what it is that you're gonna offer. They do understand that with your role comes tasks.

Candice (26:44.684)

But what they're more concerned about is, how are we going to get to that experience I want to provide my guests? How are we going to get to the experience that I want to have planning my wedding? I'm not about extravagance. I'm about experience. And I also think that instead of worrying about how to justify your prices, whether they're high, they're mid, or even if you feel like you're undercharging, I want you to focus on explaining why, the why behind your services and

the why behind what it is that you do for your clients in an easy way for them to understand. So if your rates are higher than a competitor and you are kind of forced into a conversation of explaining yourself, make sure you explain the quality and the level of service that they're getting from you. Because it's not just enough to have a luxury wedding, you have to provide a luxury level of service. And with that comes cost. And most importantly, you have to make sure that they then get that.

service because there's nothing like a bait and switch where you're talking the talk and the sale and then they hire you and you're the team of photographers. They're barely getting anything from you. They can't do that. The first tip I have in combating this wedding tax myth or just combating the anxieties and the skepticism around the wedding industry pricing right now is to be completely transparent because if you're transparent and honest, nobody can come for you in that.

I mean, just be transparent and honest. The side effect is that Gen Z loves that and they're requiring you to do that. It will help the overall narrative. I think the next step in this is to embrace more hospitality over boundaries. And I need you to hear me out on this. You're gonna resist and I need you to hear me out, please. I need to do a whole podcast episode on this. Boundaries are very important and I don't ever want you to...

Go back on boundaries you've set for your own mental health and for the health of your business, okay? But we are bound reying ourselves out of business. And you have to remember the wedding industry is a hospitality business, okay? And hospitality is about showing your clients that you genuinely care and you were there to guide them through the process and you were being hospitable. And we are losing sight of the hospitality in the wedding industry. And it is making me

Candice (29:10.69)

angry and it is contributing to the skepticism and the side eye that Gen Z is giving us because it's like, dude, I can't email you. I can't call you. You have a two hour window one day a week to answer your emails. You're like harder to get in touch with than the Pope.

don't want to hire somebody like that. So we can't expect people to trust us or to feel good about working with us if we are putting up so many boundaries that we lose the hospitality in our industry. This is a fine dance. And I think we need to actually do a whole podcast episode on setting boundaries while also maintaining a high exemplary level of hospitality. If you're in the ultra luxury market, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Of course you have boundaries, but you also know that your clients are paying for hospitality and they can stay at any resort, at any hotel. They dine in the finest restaurants and they even have help in their home that offer hospitality. They value it. And the truth is, is no matter if you have a billion dollars or a hundred bucks, we all value hospitality. And the wedding industry, we need to be more hospitable. And I just see us getting away

from hospitality and getting a little bit cranky and getting a little bit bitchy. If I can be completely honest with you guys, mean, right? I know you agree with me. I know you agree with me. So with hospitality means we should be guiding our couples in a way that makes them feel comfortable asking questions so they don't need to go online and hear a bunch of nonsense on threads or on Reddit.

or on one of those websites that shall remain nameless. And as a coach, I hear folks say all the time that they don't need to prove their value and that the right couples are going to hire them. But I'm going to be honest with you, you do need to prove your value. Sorry, you don't just get to sit back in your evil lair and people are just going to throw hundred dollar bills at you. I wish it were that easy. Trust me, my evil lair would be off the charts.

Candice (31:24.116)

Okay, but that's not the way it works. You do need to prove your value and you do need to establish trust. Seth Godin says that if you establish trust in the sale, you've got the sale, but trust is hard to establish, especially in today's environment where clients are very skeptical. Now you cannot be so defensive. You can't be so defensive about your services. You can't get defensive when people ask questions about your price, about if your price is negotiable.

You get to make choices about that, but you can't be so defensive. You have to remind yourself that you were in the hospitality business. Some hesitations are normal in the sale, but I feel like we are demonizing clients a little too often. We're seeing every hesitation or question as an enormous red flag when in actuality, it's a way to establish trust. They're literally asking you questions so that they can establish more trust with you.

If you get too defensive or if you're like, sorry, sister, I'm not answering your questions because my ideal clients, they just come to me. You're going to be fucked. I'm sorry, but you are. We have to stop being so adverse to answering questions or having to do even an iota of work to get the sale. We have to stop that. Remember, people are entitled to ask questions. They're just not entitled to get what they ask for.

And it's up to you as the salesperson, as the professional, as the business, to help guide people into making decisions. And to do that, you must answer their questions. Next, we have to build stronger client relationships. In order to combat these myths and to combat the rising anxieties and skepticism around wedding vendors, we have to build stronger client relationships. I have to tell you, a lot of people who are complaining

are probably also not having the greatest experiences. And I'm not talking about sepia bride, okay? I'm not talking about the shitty people out there. I'm talking about people with genuine concerns or who take to social media and they're like, I did not have a good experience and it pains me to share this. They're not having great experiences. And we have to do something about that.

Candice (33:36.246)

And the truth is, is that you as a small business owner, you can't change an entire industry or help somebody who had a really shitty experience across the world have a better experience. But what you can do is you can make sure that your clients, your clients, the people who are investing their money with you have an amazing experience. Because couples are investing with you and they deserve to have a great experience. They deserve to get more than what they paid for, I believe.

So you have some work to do to build stronger relationships because the truth is, is that your ideal clients will value your service because you give them an exemplary service more than what they could have ever imagined. And I see that in the glowing reviews. When I go and read a vendor's review and I see people say things like, could have never done it without her. We could have never planned our wedding without her or him or them. They were incredible.

We love them. They're like family to us. That tells me that that vendor worked really hard to build a strong client relationship. That doesn't mean that they didn't have boundaries and it doesn't mean that they didn't hold the line or they didn't have to have hard conversations with their couple and steer them in the right direction. It doesn't mean that they said yes all the time and they never said no. It means that they had a strong relationship and they worked to build that. It just didn't happen. And right now there's just too much BS in the industry. And I think the focus should be

on how we can have our couples become our advocates for us in the wedding industry to go up on threads and be like, listen, I hear you about that wedding tax, but I hired Candace and she was effing amazing and I could have never done it without her. You need to find yourself a Candace. And that means that you need, and listen to me closely, you need to prioritize an A plus plus plus plus plus experience for your clients. This is where hospitality comes in.

And this is where doing things for your clients at a level that they cannot even dream or imagine comes in. And the wedding pros who prioritize hospitality and client relationships will always have business. Always. The next thing is, is we need to add more nuance to social media content.

Candice (35:58.624)

We need to add a little bit more nuance. I'm not saying go out there and start preaching your head off and educating clients. Although if you feel compelled to get up on your soapbox and speak some truth, do it. Do it. But this means that we need to maybe show people a little bit more of reality rather than just aspirational. And in my marketing trends, I said that couples do want to see more reality. They want to see more real weddings, not just styled shoots.

And they want you to be honest about budgets if you can, especially maybe what something might have cost in what you're showing. And I think we also need to share more imperfect moments or share not just the perfect curated flat lay, but also some imperfect or more natural moments from weddings and from working with clients, the prep behind the scenes, logistics, the challenges. We say this is a stressful job. We say that there is no wedding tax. And the fact that we charge more is because

of the layers of complexity, but we're not always willing to show it. Why? We should be showing it. Couples will appreciate when you show it. And I'm not talking about like everything, okay? We have to put a little bit of a filter, but they will appreciate when you show the work involved in the work that you do. So we need to add more nuance to social media content. Finally, I think the way that we combat this is we stop giving money.

two places that are creating these unrealistic expectations. Full stop. We stop giving our hard-earned money to the publications and the wedding websites and the brands that perpetuate the bullshit. Because if we can take back our money as consumers and as business owners, and we have to remember that we have the power to, without us, without advertisers, what are you? Sorry, but

I mean, good luck. What are you? You'll have to shift your business model and I'd like to see you try. I think we have to stop giving money to places that are creating these false narratives and these unrealistic expectations. Like one website who still says the average price of a wedding hasn't increased. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Every wedding planner working on a budget right now can tell you with absolute

Candice (38:26.49)

certainty that the cost of weddings has risen dramatically and that you are not getting the same thing that you were getting three years ago for the same price. No way. We also have to recognize they've never really been our friends in the industry. They haven't. If they were our friends, they would be our advocates. And a lot of times they act like our adversaries. And this is where I'm getting pissed. I'm sick and tired of it.

So why should we be giving money to a company that perpetuates unrealistic standards and undermines your hard earned value? I want you to ask yourself that question. When that direct withdrawal comes out of your bank account every single month and you think, holy shit, I could do so much more with that money. I could hire Candace as my freaking business coach and have her help me accelerate my business with that money. I could put that money in a savings account. I could go to engage.

I could go to BeSage. I could go to an amazing conference. I could run Instagram ads. I could do my website over. I could do so much with that $500 a month. But instead, I'm giving it to somebody who not only sends me false leads and doesn't really do anything for my business, but they continue to be an adversary and perpetuate false narratives and untruths.

think we need to stop giving money to places and to people that are creating the unrealistic expectations that we now have to hurdle over, that we now have to maneuver through. I mean, think about it. If your business is on one of these sites, free listing or paid, endorsed by one of these brands, I think that you endorse that brand if you're hanging out there and that you must endorse some of the bullshit that they put or all of it that they publish.

And I know you don't, I know you don't. So maybe it's time that we start to check ourselves and check where we're spending our money and we start putting our hard earned dollars into the people and into the publications that don't perpetuate a false narrative. And I'll tell you, most of those publications are small businesses. They're not these huge conglomerates. They're small time bloggers. And by small time, I don't mean to diminish their popularity or what they're capable of. I just mean that they're smaller teams.

Candice (40:51.198)

and your dollars actually directly impact those small businesses in very profound ways. And they work tirelessly to advocate on your behalf. Imagine if we built up those publications who advocate for us, how that might get them seen by more of our ideal clients. And we let them speak to the reality of the wedding industry and do that work for us. And then we can just sit back in our evil lairs and collect our coins.

Now, at the end of the day, the wedding industry is female dominated, but beyond that, there's so many men in our industry and they provide an incredible amount of value. And there's also so many people in our industry, regardless of sex or gender. We are small businesses, small family owned businesses. And we are still likely to face scrutiny and criticism because of our industry.

no matter how much we work to educate, no matter how much we work to communicate our value, but that doesn't mean that we should shy away from showing up, standing tall, and championing the professionalism and the dedication and the heart and the purpose that we bring to every wedding. Because I know you, and I know you work fucking hard for your clients. I know that there are times that you shed tears over your work.

I know that you get frustrated for your clients. I know that you take up and advocate for your couples. And I know just how hard you work tirelessly behind the scenes. You forfeit holidays. You forfeit family vacations and special engagements during the summer in your busiest months. You sacrifice a lot. And I'm not saying that we need to go out there and be like, look at all the shit I sacrifice for you because that's not the way to do it. But I see you.

I know how hard you work and I know that you should be charging more and I know that you're not in your evil air collecting some awesome wedding tax that's helping you establish billions of dollars behind the scenes. I know that. Now it's time for couples to know that. While weddings might be more expensive than ever, as long as we as an industry can help our couples to understand the reasons behind it,

Candice (43:12.354)

And as long as we can lead with hospitality and building relationships and providing value and doing the right thing, we will continue to build trust. We will continue to build trust. We'll continue to build incredible, unforgettable experiences. And ultimately, you're going to grow your business. All right, friends, that's it from me today. I would love to hear from you. I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this podcast episode.

Come join me over on Instagram and come join me on threads. Let's talk about it. The good, the bad, the ugly. Do you agree? Do you disagree with me? I'd love to hear. All right. I want to remind you as always, there's so much power in your purpose. I'll see you next week. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode of the Power and Purpose Podcast. If you enjoyed the show, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode and consider leaving a review.

Head over to power and purpose podcast and.com to access all of the resources and links mentioned in today's episode. That's power and purpose podcast.com. I'll see you next time.