[00:00:00.130] - Speaker 1

You need to stop hiding. If you want to scale and grow a business that is recognized, if you want clients to come to you from all over the world, if you want people to take notice of your business, then you, my friend, need to start showing up. In this episode of the show, we're going to talk more about hiding and why it's hurting your business and how you can start showing up with some new girl energy. You're here to grow a business, but not just any business. You want to grow a profitable business with purpose, a business where you wake up every single day driven to serve your customers and make a difference in your own life. I'm Candice Coppola, published author, business coach, and your guide to building a profitable business with purpose. Join me here every single week as we explore how to build and grow your business with purpose. Get ready to dig in and have meaningful conversations about the strategies and techniques that will help you build your dream business. This is The Power in Purpose. Hey, friend, welcome back to the show. It's me, your host, Candice. And this is a long overdue episode of the Power and Purpose podcast.

[00:01:21.080] - Speaker 1

I want to share with you today some thoughts about hiding and why you might be hiding in your business, why you're not marketing yourself more aggressively or in the ways you know you need to, and how we can begin to course correct and change the tide and do things differently so that you can show up in your business and start booking the clients you deserve. Now, as a business coach for women over the last... Gosh, 12 years now it's been since I started coaching. But really over the last five, I've noticed and I've seen firsthand extremely talented women, and I mean talented women, not show up in their marketing and hide and pay the price by not booking clients, not growing their business the way they desired, not being able to do the things they wanted to do and achieve the things they wanted to achieve, and have the things they wanted to have because they're not showing up in their marketing. And it's got me frustrated, to be honest. It's got me frustrated. You heard me talk about this with Taylor in Episode 106, where we're encouraging you to get up off your ass and market your business.

[00:02:46.260] - Speaker 1

If you have not listened to that episode, please go and do. Please listen to it. It's a great interview with Taylor. She gives you some really practical advice on how to restart your engine and get out there and market your business. But I want to book end that conversation today and talk about some of the reasons why you might be hiding in your business and how we can bring some, what I like to call new girl energy to the scene, to the situation, to pump you up, to help get you some momentum so you can get back out there and market your business. Like I said, I've been a business coach for a long time. I've seen it as a tale old as time. A very talented person wants to grow a crazy awesome business, sees all these other people doing incredible extraordinary things, building brands, doing photo shoots, getting hired by celebrities, doing all this crazy shit. And they're like, I want that, but I'm not going to market my business. I want that, but I'm not going to do the work needed to put myself out there so people know who I am so they'll hire me so that will happen for me.

[00:03:50.060] - Speaker 1

It's a tale old as time. And it's so frustrating to watch and to see and to witness. And it might be you right now. You might be hiding. You might be hiding from Instagram, hiding from your marketing. You might consider yourself that behind the scenes type of gal. You're the person who does the work, not the person who talks about the business. I get that. I feel you. I am embracing you right now, but that shit is not going to fly if you want to grow a business. Hiding behind your work and your tasks and your systems and your processes and being the background person isn't going to work if you want to scale and grow a brand that is recognized in the wedding industry. You have to put yourself out there. You have to show your face. You have to meet people. You have to push yourself into uncomfortable places like being in front of the camera, speaking in front of the camera, speaking on a stage, speaking to a group of people, talking about yourself, all of those things. You have to push yourself to learn and to do and to do with consistency if you want to scale and grow a business.

[00:05:08.080] - Speaker 1

If you're serious about growing your business, and I'm looking you dead in the face right now, if you want it, you need to be about it. You need to do it. You need to figure out what is holding you back, address it, get your ass into therapy if you need it, talk about it, speak about it, and then you need to start being about it. If you want to scale and grow your business, enough is enough. There's no more playing games and you cannot continue to hide in your marketing if you want to grow a business. You can't. People need to know who you are and you need to show up in your marketing. It's one of the easiest ways to spread your message to attract clients. So if your marketing sucks, if you don't have a marketing plan, if you don't have a strategy, if you are not posting on social media, you're not blogging, you're not using SEO, which is the holy trinity of marketing, in my opinion, in for the wedding industry if you're not doing these things and if you're not doing them consistently, you cannot expect to receive results. What you can expect is to have low bookings, no bookings, no money, and little growth.

[00:06:13.010] - Speaker 1

Businesses, when you look around at the people that you admire, that you maybe want to emulate, and we all have those people in our lives, so don't be proud here. You have someone who you want to emulate and admire, that you admire. That person didn't get there by accident. They didn't get there by being busy at their computer answering emails all day and never putting themselves out there. They didn't get there by not putting themselves in the rooms where other people were that they aspired to be. They took advantage of every position, every opportunity to talk about themselves, talk about their business, connect with others, market, and spread their message. If you want to be like them, or if you want to have the same level of success or adjacent levels of success, you, my friend, need to start putting yourself out there. It does not happen by accident. It is not luck. It is pure work. And it's time for you to get to work. So let's talk about what could be holding you back here. Because I'm giving you this pep talk. It's what I like to call is to come to Jesus.

[00:07:18.590] - Speaker 1

Okay? This is the moment where it is coming to you. I am looking you dead in your face. And I'm like, girl, if you don't get it together, if you don't get it together, you're not going to have a business. You need to market it. There are so many important things to do in business, but if you don't market your services, you have no customers, therefore you have no business. It's time. It's time for you to get over whatever is holding you back and to do the damn thing. You are capable. And you want to know how I know you're capable? Because I am sitting here right now on a Sunday at my computer recording the 100th plus episode of the Power and Purpose podcast. I have not numbered this one yet. I am recording this. I am also video recording this so that I can share it on social media. And if you would have asked me to do this five years ago, I would have looked you in the face and said, Nope, I'm not ready. I need, insert the blank, I need to lose 10 pounds. I don't like the way I look.

[00:08:16.490] - Speaker 1

I need a better camera. I need better lighting. I'm not ready. I'm nervous. I'm scared. I don't want to put myself out there. I don't want people to judge me. People are going to judge the way I look. They're going to judge the way I talk. It's too hard. It takes too long. I would have said all those things to you. Do any of those excuses sound familiar? Yeah, they do. Yes, they do. So I know how hard it is. And I also know that it actually becomes easier with practice. And if I can do it, listen sister, you can do it. So let's talk about what's probably holding you back. And these are the common reasons that I see in the women I coach and from my own personal experience with hiding. Because there have been times in my career where I have hidden. There have been times in my career where I have been out there and I attribute my success to being out there. I contribute my stagnation, my being stuck, my analysis paralysis to being hiding, when I was hiding. So here are the most common reasons why we don't show up in our marketing and why we procrastinate and we hide.

[00:09:23.490] - Speaker 1

Number one, fear of judgment. We are scared of what people will think. We all want to be liked. It's human nature. And the thought of somebody judging you or not liking you is hurtful and it holds us back. But I want you to think about it like this. If you're scared of what people think of you and your fear of judgments, what's getting in the way of you hiding, I want you to recognize that you are not fully realizing your potential and you are not expressing yourself fully because of what an imaginary person might think. You are not expressing yourself fully. You are not being your full self and allowing yourself to fully become you and represent your business and have this amazing career and do all these crazy awesome fucking cool things because you're scared of what an imaginary person might think of you. Doesn't that sound totally ridiculous? Yes, it does. And it is. It is ridiculous, but it's not ridiculous in your head if you're afraid of what people are going to think. This is something that you're going to have to work on and try to overcome. I think what helps is knowing that most people are concerned about themselves.

[00:10:40.720] - Speaker 1

They're not concerned about you. Well, you pay a lot of attention to how you sound, how you look, what you think. You are you. You're focused on you 24 7, your needs. People are focused similarly on their own and not on you. There's not as many people out there judging you as you think. This should be your permission to step outside your comfort zone and do something because for the number of people out there judging you, there are 100 more people waiting for you. For the amount of people out there judging you, for every two people who would judge you on Instagram, there are a hundred people who are waiting for you. What are you doing? Snap out of it. Stop waiting. Start doing. Address your fears of being judged and needing to be liked. The next is fear of rejection. This is similar to the fear of judgment. It's definitely the need to be liked. We don't want to be rejected. We go back to growing up and being a kid on the playground and maybe not being picked for a sport or being rejected by somebody we liked, being rejected by a friend group.

[00:11:56.300] - Speaker 1

I mean, we've been rejected so many times in our lives, those scars, they build up. When you get older, you have the power to protect yourself. You can protect yourself from being rejected by not ever putting yourself in the position to be rejected. You know what that costs you? Well, I mean, you don't get rejected. Cool. You don't have to suffer from that embarrassment and that hurt. But you give up something. You actually give up a lot when it comes to your business and marketing. If the fear of rejection is getting in the way of you showing up for your business and for you stepping out from the shadows, you're giving up the success of your business so that you don't get rejected. You're playing it way too safe. And it tells me that you're content being comfortable with less than what you desire. It tells me that you're intent with, if you don't get enough with your business failing, with you not being successful at what it is you want to do. And I don't think that's the case. I think you started this business because you had a dream for yourself, for your family, for your life, for your career.

[00:12:59.350] - Speaker 1

And when you started your business, you had a fire, you had momentum. Somewhere along the way, the fear of rejection got a hold of you, and it's weighing you down. You've got to shake it off. The third reason why we don't show up in our business is fear of failure. And this is so common. I think we're all scared to fail at things. We want to be successful. We want to succeed. We want to win. We take it seriously. We have pride in our work and the things that we do. Fear of failure stops us from so much. So does the fear of failure of success. These two counterweight each other. We're scared to fail. But then on the other hand, we're like, shit, what if this works? What if I become the next greatest wedding photographer? What do I do? We get scared of success because that changes so much about who we are, our life, what we're responsible for. So sometimes the fear of success can be more debilitating than the fear of failure, which I feel like the fear of failure doesn't need any description from me. You know what that's like.

[00:14:08.870] - Speaker 1

These are the four core reasons why I find we don't show up in our marketing and why we stay stuck hiding. We're scared to be judged. We're scared we're going to be rejected. We're scared of failing, and we're scared of succeeding. You got to get over these things. And you may have a reason that I haven't described here. I'd love to hear it. I'd love for you to share it with me. I'm curious as to what it is. I'd love to talk to you about it. You may have a different reason, but these are the most common that I see. And these are the hurdles that we have to get over in order to start showing up and stop hiding in our marketing. So here's the thing. It's important for you to show up in your marketing. Nobody can market your business for you. You can hire all the people you want. You can have all the interns and all the VAs and all the marketing specialists. You can hire all the business coaches. You can sign up for all the marketing platforms and softwares and schedulers. You can get all the templates from Creative Market.

[00:15:07.220] - Speaker 1

Girl, you could do all that shit and have nothing and have no marketing if you don't put yourself out there. Your marketing requires you to show up in it. Nobody's going to talk about your business for you. You have to talk about it for yourself. You have to be your biggest advocate, your biggest mouthpiece, your biggest cheerleader, your biggest megaphone. Sure, your mom is going to tell her friends and past clients, hopefully, will share it with their friend group. But if you're not going to show up and market your business, who's going to do it for you? Who's going to do it for you? Hey, friend, hear that noise? That's the sound of Honey Book depositing cold, hard cash into your bank account. Honey Book is an all in one client flow platform that helps you manage your leads, send wedding proposals, and sign contracts all with the click of a button. And every time you get paid, you're going to hear this noise. Honey Book also offers a variety of resources and materials to help you grow your business. One of my favorite features of the Honey Book platform is the community of creative entrepreneurs just like you.

[00:16:23.030] - Speaker 1

Honey Book is offering listeners of the power and purpose podcast 35 % off any of their three plans for your first year. 35 %, it's an amazing deal. Use the code purpose at checkout or go to candicecoppala. Com honeybook to learn more. I think that part of this problem can be solved by bringing what I like to call new girl energy back to your business. Nge for short, new girl energy. Picture this, the new girl in your area has arrived. And you want to know how I know you know she's arrived? Because she's marketing the pants off of her business. Everywhere you look, there she is. She's like one of those Carnival games, whack a mole. You're like, just when I thought I put her down, here she pops up again. And listen, she's got you feeling feelings, right? She's got you maybe jealous, she's got you feeling salty, maybe feeling down about yourself. Here's what she's doing right. She's everywhere. She's not playing any games. She understands that she needs to shout at the rooftop that she is open for business, she is open for collaboration, she is open for opportunities, and you can call her anytime of day, 24 7.

[00:17:54.550] - Speaker 1

She is eager, she is hungry, and she has got that magical new girl energy. Most of us when we start our business have that energy, nothing can stop us. We're literally up for anything. We eat, breathe, and sleep our businesses. It is just this energy, this excitement that is not replicated easily. And it wanes like every relationship in life. You can't sustain that level of infatuation and excitement forever. You got bills to pay, kids to raise, dogs to take out in the morning, responsibilities. I kid, but it's true. It really is true. It ebbs and it flows. That new girl energy, we need to bring some of that back to your business, some of that energy, some of that momentum, some of that just willing and up for anything, taking risks, doing new things, trying new things. Here's how I think you can bring that new girl energy back to your business starting today so you can stop hiding and start showing up in your business. Remember, nobody's going to market your business for you. Nobody, no matter who you hire, who you ask, who you tell, can do this for you. You have to do it for yourself.

[00:19:09.710] - Speaker 1

And PS, if you're not willing to do it, how can you expect someone else to do it for you? If you're not willing to show up for your customers, for your business and talk about you and own who you are and step into your personality, into yourself and be like, This is me. This is my thought process. This is my methodology. This is how I think. This is my art form. This is my craft. These are my opinions. If you're not willing to do that, then you can't hire. Who is going to do it for you that you hire? Nobody. Nobody. All right. How to bring that new girl energy back to your business. Number one, this is easy shit, guys. This is so easy. But you know what? It's good reminder. First, get social. Get out from your office, get out of your house, put on some lipstick, buy yourself a new shirt. Okay? Head to Zara, head to wherever you shop to feel your absolute most gorgeous and get out of the fricking house and start getting social. The pandemic robbed us of social interactions in meaningful ways, like in person. We're back to being in person.

[00:20:15.900] - Speaker 1

Thank you, Jesus. Okay, get at a networking event. If one doesn't exist, create one for people in your area. Get social. Getting in the room with people, having conversations, exchanging energy face to face, having a cocktail, having a mocktail, sharing a meal, watching a presenter talk, having conversation. It does something. It does something to you. You can't deny that getting social motivates you, gives you momentum, gives you excitement, gives you a little boost, a little pep in your step, a little swagger. It does for me. I really felt this when I left the Creative Educator Conference, which I attended and spoke at. It's a great conference for all my educators out there who are looking to grow their education portion of their business. It's put on by my friend Lailah Amari. There will be another one in 2024. Just shameless plug, by the way. I love that conference. And you know what? I got to meet lots of women who were in my Mastermind. Shout out to the ladies, shout out to the Liz's, shout out to Sandra and Rihanna. Shout out to you, ladies. I got to meet ladies in my mastermind for the very first time.

[00:21:26.860] - Speaker 1

So fabulous. But I also got to meet new people and meet people for the first time who I'd known online for years. And we had conversations and we shared meals and we had a drink and we had coffee and we sat next to each other and we bonded and we talked about all types of things, life stuff, business stuff. And I left that conference ready to go. I left that conference feeling momentum I hadn't felt in a long time. I left that conference feeling confident in myself. It was fabulous. I created connections. It was wonderful. Get social. Get out of the house and start meeting people again. That just brings a level of energy and excitement and collaboration in your business that will carry you until the next social event, until three weeks from now when you need another adrenaline rush. Next, I want you to start collaborating. A new girl is social. She's a woman about town. She's also collaborating. She hasn't quite yet learned all the rules and all the things. She hasn't been bogged down. She hasn't been burned as much yet. S he's ready to collaborate. She's ready to try something with anybody.

[00:22:35.240] - Speaker 1

She's emailing people. She's introducing herself. She's like, Hey, let's collaborate. Let's do this. She's taking risks and she's collaborating. So start collaborating again. Sometimes we get into business and we were collaborating, we're doing a lot of these great things, and then we get in the motion of our own business. We get busy, we don't have time for that. We don't have time to collaborate for free. We put a price tag on everything, and I get it. Your time is valuable. I'm not going to argue with you, but I'm going to tell you that you should be collaborating more. Collaborating for free, for the art of it, for the sake of it, for the fun of it, for the networking of it, for the energy of it. Start collaborating again. Get together with people. Have some fun. Don't feel like it's so serious. It doesn't need to be some monumental photo shoot you do together. It doesn't need to be some perfect event that you throw. You can just invite people together for some lunch and collaborate. But a new girl, she's collaborating. She's also seeking out opportunities. It's all fresh and new to her, and she's looking for opportunities everywhere.

[00:23:45.330] - Speaker 1

She's introducing herself to new vendors and venues, new to her, new to the scene. She is proposing and pitching ideas. She's seeking out opportunities. She's taking advantage of those opportunities. Some of them may not even be paid, but she doesn't give a shit because she is here and she wants the experience. She wants the energy, she wants the customers and the brand awareness. You need to start seeking out opportunities. Instead of waiting for someone to come in to ask you to do something and then being salty when they don't, that's me, by the way, it's me. Hi, I do that sometimes. I'm like, They didn't ask me to speak at their conference. They didn't ask me to come on their podcast. Then I have to be reminded, Well, did you fucking ask them? No. Start asking for what you want. Seek out opportunities. Stop awaiting for people to come to you. We get it. You've been around a while. You might be the dawn in your area of what you do, but you need to stop awaiting for people to come and kiss your ring and you need to get out there and start seeking out your own opportunities.

[00:25:03.520] - Speaker 1

Another way for you to bring in that new girl energy is to start raising your voice. Whether you've been around for a year or a decade you have experience and you have an opinion and it's really valuable and valid. You'd be surprised at how often your opinion needs to be heard and accepted by other people. And how many people would actually agree with your assessment on a wide variety of topics related to your industry, whether you're giving tips and advice, whether you're sharing your thoughts on wedding design or planning or business. So many people would benefit from hearing from you and your voice. If you want to stop hiding and start showing up in your business, you need to raise your voice. Here's the thing. When I scroll Instagram and I hear you talk, I don't even see you. I just hear your voice, what I know it's you. If I'm scrolling Instagram and I hear a voice, what I know it's yours based on how much you've talked on the platform in the past. If I could hear a voice and not know it's yours, you need to raise your voice. You need to start talking.

[00:26:18.140] - Speaker 1

You need to start using your voice to share, to share your message, to connect with your ideal clients, and to build your brand. You want people to know it's you. You want people to see something that you put out and to be like, I instantly know that's her. I like to think that when I put something out there, you know it's me based on how it looks. I know you know my voice because I haven't showed up in five years. I know you know my laugh. When you hear my laugh, you're like, Yep, there she goes. She's laughing at her own freaking jokes. I know you know my voice. I know you know my phone voice, like my, Hi, welcome to the podcast. T hen I know you know my down and dirty, like, had a cocktail voice. I know you know both. Do I know yours? And does the internet know yours? Because we need to hear it. We need to know it. I want people to become familiar with you. I want people to know your voice. And in order for that to happen, you need to raise it. A new girl, she raises her voice.

[00:27:19.930] - Speaker 1

She makes it known, her presence known. She might even just be finding her voice. And that's okay. But you still know it's her. I want you to do the same thing. And voice is n't just literally the words that come out of your mouth or the sound of your voice, although that's literally what I'm talking about. And figuratively, it's also about finding your voice and raising your voice just in your own personality, the way that you speak, the way that you approach things, the vernacular that you use, the personality that you add to everything you do, whether it's your logo, an Instagram graphic, I mean, whatever. It's that voice. It's not heard, it's seen. I also want you to raise that voice too. I want you to turn up the volume on it because the new girl, she's turned the volume way up. It's why you hear her and see her everywhere. Finally, in order for you to bring that new girl energy into your business, I want you to start taking some risks. I want you to push yourself to try something that you've never tried before. I want you to do something that feels scary, that feels really hard, that maybe you know you need to do and you've been meaning to do it forever, but you just haven't done it because it's so hard and scary.

[00:28:35.620] - Speaker 1

I need you to actually go out and do that thing right away as soon as possible today, right now. Here's what's going to happen. You're going to do it. It's going to be hard. You're going to be like, Oh girl, that was so hard. And then you're going to be like, But I could do it again. I could do that again. It was hard. It took a lot of energy and effort and preparation, but I could do that again. And the next time you do it, it's not going to feel so hard. And the next time you do it after that, it's going to feel easier and easier and easier. So for instance, if you've been meaning to go live on Instagram, and it's scary, right? You're live. People are like, What is she going to say? Y ou're like, Fuck, I don't know. You have your notes, you have your script, you know what you're supposed to do. You go live and you're not perfect because you're human. Public speaking makes you nervous because it makes everybody nervous. But you go live, you tell a couple of jokes, you get into your groove, you mess up, you got to restart.

[00:29:38.150] - Speaker 1

People are still hanging out. They're agreeing with you. They're tapping those hearts. They're like, Fuck yeah, she's totally right. I love her. And before you know it, you're holding court on Instagram live and you're laughing and having a great time. And 20 minutes have passed and you're like, What the hell? And you sign off and say goodbye and you make sure that camera's off and you look at yourself and you're like, Oh, my God. I did it. And you have an adrenaline rush. You run and you tell your partner, you're like, Babe, I just went live and it was good. And they're like, Oh, my God. That's great. You want to know how I know this? Because I've done it. Action creates clarity, friends. This is one of the most important lessons in life. Action creates clarity. Anytime you're doing something for the first time, it's hard, whether it's going live on Instagram, it's a forward lunge and you're exercising, you're picking up a weight at the gym, you're driving a car, you're writing a book, you're making a recipe. The first time you try anything, it's always going to be hard. But the next time you do it, it's not going to be so hard.

[00:30:45.530] - Speaker 1

And the next time you do it after that, it gets even so much more easier. And because you begin to make progress and because you take action, your next step becomes clearer for you. You are able to understand what to do next. So you, my friend, you need to take a risk and you need to understand that that risk is going to feel scary. It's going to feel hard. It's the thing you've been avoiding the most. But guess what? You do it and then it's done and it's not an unknown anymore. It's something that you now understand because you took action and you have clarity. And then next time you do it, which should be very soon after the first time, you're going to feel more confident, more like that new girl energy, I can do this. I got this. I'm raising my voice. I'm showing up. I'm seeking out opportunities. I got this. It becomes that much easier. I want to empower you. I want to just shake you and tell you that if you want to scale and grow a business, whether it's in the wedding industry or any industry, you will not be able to do that by hiding.

[00:31:52.100] - Speaker 1

You cannot do that by spending every day behind the scenes doing the work and never putting yourself in front of the scenes to talk about the work that you're doing. It's not going to happen. You have to market your business. You have to get serious about it. And this is the year. This is the time. Today is the day for you to get up off your ass and to start marketing your business. Get angry, get frustrated. Even if it's that the new girl who's coming in and she's taking all your shit, she's coming in, she's taking all your customers, she's taking all your mojo. Go ahead, get angry. Use that anger to fuel you to start showing up in your business. There are so many people out there less talented than you who have the business you want. There are so many people out there who are less talented than you, I know so, and they have the business that you want. What are you waiting for? All right, friend, that's it from me. I hope I wasn't too harsh in this episode and I hope that you felt every word I said today. I'm a big sister or a younger sister or high, or you're younger, wiser.

[00:33:04.800] - Speaker 1

Don't call me your auntie, okay? You do that and it's over for you. But I hope that you felt my words. I want you to succeed. It's why I freaking record these podcast episodes to help you. I see you out there. You're struggling. You need to get it together. Stop talking about it. Start being about it. All right, friend, thanks for listening today. I'm here to remind you, as always, there's so much power in your purpose. Until next time. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode of the Power in Purpose podcast. If you enjoyed the show, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode and consider leaving a review. Head over to powerinpurpose podcast. Com to access all of the resources and links mentioned in today's episode. That's powerandpurpose podcast. Com. I'll see you next time. You.