Should you work for free to gain experience in the wedding industry? That’s what I thought when I first started my wedding business. As a business coach for wedding planners, I’ve seen this debate from every angle, and it’s not always black and white. Sometimes offering your services for free makes sense, while other times, it’s important to stand firm on your value and financial integrity. In this blog post, we’ll dive into the tricky question of when it pays off to work for free and when it’s best to just say no, and I’m going to share my thoughts (and kind of unpopular opinion) when it comes to whether or not you should work for free.
The Problem With NEVER Working for Free
Let me back up a second. For many years, the wedding industry has demanded a steep learning curve. New wedding professionals often work for free to gain experience, build portfolios, and establish connections. This practice, almost a rite of passage, leads countless newcomers to offer their services at no charge, hoping to break into the competitive field. Unfortunately, many new wedding pros get taken advantage of, ultimately burning out and leaving the industry.
However, in recent years, there has been a pretty significant shift in the desire to work for free. The pendulum has swung hard in the opposite direction, and now it seems that the willingness to work for free has all but disappeared. And hey, I get it. Like I mentioned above, this change is, in part, a reaction to the exploitation and burnout experienced by many bright and ambitious wedding planners who felt undervalued and overworked.
The truth is, though, that refusing to do ANY work for free can hinder the growth of a wedding planning business (especially in its early stages). While it is important to value your time and expertise, there are strategic instances where offering free (or discounted) services can provide big returns. We will talk more about this below, but participating in styled shoots, collaborating with other vendors, or assisting in high-profile events for free can open doors to new opportunities, enhance your portfolio, and build a network of industry connections.
These experiences can lead to paying clients and long-term success, proving that, sometimes, working for free is a worthwhile investment in your future.
When You Should Say NO To Working for Free
That being said, there is some free work that you should absolutely say no to. When I was starting my business, I sat down with a financial advisor to discuss my goals and the vision I had for my wedding planning company. During our conversation, he asked me how much I was planning to charge for my services. I told him I was going to do some work for free to build my portfolio and then offer my services at a very competitive, below-market rate to get more weddings through the door. This is the same song and dance many new wedding planners follow, believing that working for free or at very low margins is the way to kickstart their careers.
My advisor then asked me what types of weddings I hoped to plan. I enthusiastically described my ideal clients: those with big budgets, a keen attention to detail, and a sophisticated sense of style. He pointed out that by working for free or at such low rates, I was setting myself up to attract clients with low budgets or no budgets at all. If I wanted to work on high-end projects, I instead needed to position myself accordingly from the very beginning.
If that’s you right now, resist the urge to post in those wedding Facebook groups offers to plan a wedding for free “for experience”. Trust me when I say that you will rarely get the kinds of weddings that you can actually use in your portfolio or get the experience you really want out of a wedding day (ie. be prepared to assemble a hundred DIY projects the week of the wedding).
When Wedding Pros SHOULD Work For Free
I’m never going to make you work for free, but here are some examples that might make sense for you and your business.
First, one prime example of when it makes sense to say yes to free work is when it offers an opportunity to truly build your portfolio. As a new wedding planner, having a strong portfolio is essential for showcasing your skills and attracting potential clients.
Participating in styled shoots, for example, can offer an incredible ROI. I truly believe that styled shoots have been a big part of why I was so successful as a wedding planner, and if you’re interested, make sure to grab the entire Playbook I wrote on them. These collaborative projects allow you to work with photographers, florists, and other vendors to create a visually stunning event setup (and network with one another, too!).
The other time I think it makes sense to say yes to free work is when it helps you network and get into rooms you want to be in. Attending industry events, offering your services for industry events (and venue openings), or assisting seasoned professionals can help you network with people who will be invaluable over the course of your career.
Basically, these opportunities not only allow you to learn from experienced peers but also enable you to establish relationships with key players in the industry. It’s cliche to say that your network is your net worth, but it’s kind of true. Relationships are huge in the wedding industry.
My Experience Saying Yes to Free Work
I want to shift the idea that everything has to be paid work. There are so many awesome opportunities that can help you in other ways, even if you’re not getting paid. And I know what I’m talking about here because while I never offered to plan weddings for free, I did say yes to plenty of free opportunities (and still do!).
For example, early in my career, I collaborated on a styled shoot for a magazine. While it wasn’t a paid gig, it turned out to be a huge catalyst for my business. This experience allowed me to meet and network with the vendors I knew I wanted to work with and to design the types of weddings I wanted to plan.
Had I turned down that opportunity simply because it wasn’t paid, I would have missed out on the invaluable connections and portfolio-building experiences that came from it. I’m so glad I didn’t!
Should You Work For Free to Gain Experience?
To sum up, the question of whether to work for free in the wedding industry is a complex one with no one-size-fits-all answer. There are times when offering your services for free can be a strategic move, helping you build your portfolio, establish valuable connections, and gain experience. However, it’s also important to know when to say NO to working for free to stand firm on your worth and to avoid undervaluing your expertise.
If you want honest advice on growing your wedding business, I would love to invite you to join the Planner’s Playbook. Each month, I host office hours where I dive into topics just like this, offering my insights and honest advice (even when it’s unpopular and not what you want to hear). Let’s work together to build a thriving wedding planning business! Hop on the waitlist now!
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For More Wedding Planner Business Secrets Follow Me On Instagram
I’ve come to realize that many of us want to have a village, but we don’t recognize that we have to be a villager first.
My friend carla @c10ike is one of those rare exceptions and I want to introduce you to her!
When I started my planning business, I had no contacts and no real idea what I was doing. I was so green it makes me laugh to look back on it now!
And somehow, I got lucky enough to be taken under the wing of this incredible woman who showed up for me then when I was a little baby business owner, and has kept showing up ever since in more ways than I could possibly count.
She’s taught me so much over the years, and I don’t mean in the traditional sense of teaching someone something. She simply lived her life, and I paid attention.
She modeled what it means to be a friend.
A sister.
A daughter.
A wife.
A mother.
A business owner.
A boss.
I learned generosity by watching her be generous.
Compassion, connection, leadership… none of it came from advice. All of it came from the way she carries herself and the way she treats the people around her.
She has taught me more than she will ever know by the sheer act of living loudly and joyfully in every corner of her life.
I am so lucky to call her my friend. So lucky to be one of the many, many people she has been a villager for.
Carla thank you for letting me grow up right beside you. I love you. 🤍
DAY ONE // WPI Spring Retreat 💜
This was our first real day together! The theme of this whole retreat was refinement, so we wasted no time getting into it on Day 1!
The women shuttled up to my home, walked through the gate to mimosas and the biggest hugs, and got their welcome totes filled with goodies I curated from female owned businesses that were mostly local!
Then we settled in, did some tapping to manifest all the answers we needed for the week, courtesy of our very own @ashley.peraino (who couldn’t join us this year, but was SO THOUGHTFUL to record a video for us!)
I opened with a talk on complexity, discernment, and self-trust (today’s podcast episode, BTW) simplifying your business and actually trusting yourself to lead what’s left.
From there the room took over. We had three incredible member gives: @c10ike on trusting your creative instincts, @ininkweddings on refining your creative POV, and @welldressedevents on generating real revenue through Google Ads (it’s giving… LEADS 😉).
In between we had small group discussions, hot conversations about where instinct and POV are out of sync, a homemade Caribbean lunch, and an afternoon of poolside snacks and conversation.
This is what the WPI room looks like. A talented group of women who came with one big business question and spent day one getting closer to the answer while having fun and getting their brains stretched!
All these gorgeous moments captured by our retreat photographer + my business bestie @c10ike 💜💜💜
Do it or delete it.
I said this recently to a coaching client, and now it’s sort of become our mantra inside WPI, because almost every business owner I know has a to-do list with 47 things on it (the same 47 things that were on last week’s list, and the week before that).
They don’t get done. They just travel from week to week collecting guilt, and that guilt somehow makes it even harder to get anything done at all.
After years of coaching women through this, you start to realize that most of those tasks don’t actually have dire consequences if they never happen. They just feel important because they’ve been living on your list rent-free for six months.
I want you to look at your to-do list right now and choose.
You do it… meaning you do it right now or at the very least put it on the calendar with a real deadline.
You delegate it… but only if it’s actually worth someone else’s time, not because you’ve been avoiding it and want to make it someone else’s problem.
Or you delete it… and I mean actually delete it, not shuffle it to a “someday” list where it will haunt you until 2027.
The guilt you feel about your undone tasks won’t go away if you magically “get more productive.” Instead I want you to see it for what it is: a list-curation problem.
What’s one thing you’re deleting today?
PS: I can confidently say these @aritzia sweatpants are 10/10
Syd from @ininkweddings spent $$$$ on a rebrand... and a year later, her gut told her to do it again.
She listened, and that’s how Messy Luxury™ was born.
The Behind the Brand series is BACK on the podcast, and this episode is one of my favorites yet. I’m excited to introduce you to Sydney Meyer (AKA ya girl, SYD) – a talented, vibrant, and dynamic wedding designer / planner based in Austin but serving clients worldwide.
I’ve been coaching Syd inside WPI since 2022, so I’ve had a front row seat to her evolution.
I’ve gotten to watch her build an iconic brand from the inside out, and it’s been one of the great joys of my coaching career. I’m so excited for you to hear her journey and some of the interesting twists and turns she’s encountered because boy, are they RELATABLE.
In this episode, we get into:
- What inspired her to start In Ink
- Why her first rebrand still didn’t feel right and how she knew
- The rock-bottom moment that forced her to build a business for HER, not everyone else
- How she trademarked Messy Luxury and turned it into the most recognizable design philosophy in Austin
If your business doesn’t feel like you anymore or if you’ve been searching for your unique creative POV, you’re going to LOVE this week’s episode!
Drop MESSY LUXURY in the comments and I’ll send you a link to listen!
A special shout out to all the photographers whose images reflect Syd and her great work: @alicialeighphoto @anastasiastratephotography @fallonstovallphoto @lightasgold @natalienicolephoto @haleyfolkman.photo @c10ike
All, Building Your Brand, Getting Down to Business, Goal Setting, Growing a Business, Mindset's To Fix
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