[00:00:00.440] - Candice Coppola (Host)

You're in the thick of wedding season. I know you're busy. So how can you start taking care of yourself while taking care of your clients? On this episode of the podcast, I'm joined by Candice Denice, and she's going to share with you some simple and practical tips to practice self care.

[00:00:19.870] - Candice Coppola (Host)

You're here to grow a business, but not just any business. You want to grow a profitable business with purpose, a business where you wake up every single day driven to serve your customers and make a difference in your own life. I'm Candice Coppola, published author, business coach, and your guide to building a profitable business with purpose. Join me here every single week as we explore how to build and grow your business with purpose. Get ready to dig in and have meaningful conversations about the strategies and techniques that will help you build your dream business. This is The Power and Purpose. Hey, friend, welcome back to the Power and Purpose podcast. It's me, your host, Candice. I have a very special guest on today's episode of the show. I m joined by self care expert Candice Denise to talk all about how you can care for yourself during wedding season and really any season that you find yourself in. As a former wedding pro, I know how difficult your job is. So does Candice. She was actually in the wedding industry for many, many years before she became a self care and wellbeing advocate. We both understand what you're going through in the thick of the season, the stress, the physical labor, the responsibilities, especially if you're working multiple weddings in a weekend or you have weekends back to back, you can quickly lose yourself while caring for others.

[00:02:01.640] - Candice Coppola (Host)

I thought, Let me bring Candice Denice on the podcast. She's an amazing self care and wellness expert. I love what she's doing and I love the simple and practical tips that she gives you in today's episode to care for yourself during this season or any season where you are very busy in your business. As I mentioned, Candice is a former wedding pro and she got into the self care and wellbeing industry through her own experiences with self care and wellness. Now she works with ambitious women leaders, founders, entrepreneurs, and organization across the country teaching them how to prioritize themselves daily and remove self care from their to do lists, work past that guilt and selfishness that we feel, those stigmas attached to self care and create better self care routines and rituals infusing self care into their daily practices. This episode is so amazing. I know you're going to love Candice and you're going to love the simple and practical tips that she gives you today to better care for yourself. Let's get into my interview with Candice Denice. Hey, Candice, welcome to the show.

[00:03:30.630] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Hey, Candice, so happy to be here.

[00:03:33.620] - Candice Coppola (Host)

So my first time having another Candice on the show and I couldn't have picked a better Candice, honestly. I'm so excited for today.

[00:03:41.420] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Thanks. I'm happy to be here. I love the fact that I get to be the first Candice, too.

[00:03:48.480] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Well, Candice, you are all things self care. You're a former wedding pro, so you know what it's like to be in the wedding industry and to care for everybody else but yourself, especially during wedding season. I know this conversation is going to feel so timely for our listeners who are in the thick of it right now. It's July. Their wedding season is in full swing, or they've got a little bit of a break before it picks back up. It's the time of year where I feel like we almost want to collapse. We're just so exhausted caring for everyone else and we forget about ourselves.

[00:04:21.990] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah, I think so too. I remember that time of year very well. It's honestly the reason that I transitioned into... Part of the reason I transitioned into self care is because as a wedding pro, we are hired to take on someone else's dress. O ftentimes, we are eliminating theirs, but we're not taking care of ours. T hat just showed me that we can't really show up for our clients the way we need to if we're not showing up for ourselves first.

[00:04:52.370] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Well, there's a quote right there. There's the quote of the episode. It's so true. It is. And you're right, we take on so much stress for our customers, the stress of the day, their emotions around marriage, around family dynamics, around all these different puzzle pieces. We seem to absorb that like sponges. And I find that it builds tension in our body and it's hard to find a place to release that tension.

[00:05:18.810] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yes, agreed. It very much so does. And it is tough. I think we want to do the best job we can for our clients, and rightfully so. But at the same time, as I always would say, as we are creating these stories for them, these fairy tales, there's a story that's happening behind the scenes. And that's the story of ourselves, our lives, our bodies, our minds, our emotional wellness. And it can be taxing, especially when you have multiple clients. So you're not just doing this for one group of people, you're doing this for a number of people at the same time. And so taking all of that in, energy, can really play a part on how we show up, whether we realize it or not.

[00:06:05.120] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Very true. I feel like we're goalies trying to defend multiple end zones or whatever you call it in soccer. We're just multiple balls are covered for multiple teams. We're just constantly dodging and trying to protect for multiple different people. It's exhausting.

[00:06:22.060] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah. Not just the client, but the vendors. We stand in the middle and we are advocating for the client, we're advocating for the vendor, but who's advocating for us?

[00:06:36.700] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Right. Well, I think you're going to make a case that we need to advocate for ourselves. And that is through caring for ourselves. My first question for you, so we can get a baseline for today's episode is, what is self care? What does it mean to you?

[00:06:50.790] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah. So for me, self care is very simple. It's about the small decisions that you make every day that help you to manage you. That's it. Very small decisions that help you to manage and take care of you. So for instance, if it's a matter of, you know that you're going to have a full day today, so you may not get a chance to stop and eat. Thinking about your day in advance and packing some snacks or some things that are going to help keep you fueled so you're not missing the nutrition that your body needs in order to keep you going. Or if you know that you're going to have a really big date tomorrow with the wedding that you do what you need to do to get your rest the night before so that you can be able to show up as your best self for your client and for yourself and for your team. So it's very small decisions.

[00:07:42.770] - Candice Denise (Guest)

I'm trying to think through my day and if I mindfully think about caring for myself and making these small decisions, some days I do, a lot of days I don't. I think a listener listening would probably feel the same way. You're always going, going, going. And if you compound that with maybe being a parent or being a caregiver of some kind as well, that just adds another layer of caring for others and neglecting yourself.

[00:08:07.870] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah, it does. And it's easy to do. And I can't sit here and say that I always understood it. Once you learn something, now you go and share with the masses and that's what I'm doing. But I realized very small things made a difference. I think we see, from media, television because self care is very trendy. And so we see these things like spa days and massages and all of that. And that's great. But that's self pampered, which is just one part of caring for yourself. Caring for yourself is how are you dealing with your emotions, your mental health, your physical health, your spiritual wellness, your financial wellness, your intellectual, your environmental, your social, all of those are the eight areas of wellness, and that makes up your self care. And so how are you managing you so that you can be well in these different areas of your life in very small ways?

[00:09:05.470] - Candice Coppola (Host)

What do you think starts changing for someone when they begin to manage their needs, small needs throughout the day and prioritize caring for themselves in small ways? What begins to change in their life?

[00:09:19.590] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah. So I think what happens, or I should say what has happened for me, what I've seen in my clients, is that you have a motivation again, sometimes you have this motivation to want to go through your day, to want to do the things that you have to do. So you refine your motivation. You have healthier relationships because you're not as short tempered or as frustrated or as irritable, so your relationships grow better. I think also that you see a found joy. You start discovering simple joys that maybe were always there, but you couldn't see them because of the stress because of the overwhelm, the burnout, etc. So you start to have a joy again for your life and for the things that have always been there. Also gratitude. I think gratitude is something that comes back to you as well. Again, it's not always easy to be grateful because life can do what life does. I think motivation, gratitude, joy, healthier relationships, and healthier mental... Your mental wellness. I think also just a better management of your mental wellness and your emotional wellness as well as your physical.

[00:10:30.950] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Yeah, all things that are important as a business owner and especially when you're working with clients who might not be managing some of these things so well and dumping it in your direction.

[00:10:44.530] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Oh, my gosh. You become a dumpster. I had a former client, she said, and I loved it. She said, I'm not an ATM. I don't want people trying to deposit into me. I love that. That's what happens. Every time a client comes to you with something, they are depositing their stuff into you. A gain, it comes along with the job. But when you get that stuff dumped, what do you do with it? How do you take care of you? Because if you let it sit and fester, it just makes you ill in so many ways.

[00:11:21.270] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Yeah. You walk around carrying somebody else's burdens, someone else's emotions and stress. And if you're a very empathic person that can feel even really more difficult to release negativity of others and the energy that you take on of other people. Self care, I'm imagining, is a daily practice to help you release some of that energy that you might take on throughout the day.

[00:11:45.690] - Candice Denise (Guest)

It is. You have to be able to give yourself the space for you to dump it. You got to dump it somewhere. It's like when we put things into our trash, we're dumping it into the trash, but then we put the trash out because it gets dumped somewhere else. We don't keep the trash in our house, right? I mean, I hope not. No, it's true. But our trash gets dumped somewhere else. Now you have to figure out those ways to do that, too.

[00:12:12.460] - Candice Coppola (Host)

That's a good analogy. What would you say to somebody who thinks self care sounds indulgent or not something they'd make a point to do? I have to confess that there was when self care first started to come on the rise, maybe in 2014 or 15, it became a really big buzzword. I was like, this is a bunch of bullshit. I'm an old millennial. I'm basically a Gen Xer. This is a bunch of BS. This is so ridiculous. Man up, just get through it. This isn't how life works. But obviously, I've changed my opinion on that because I think it's important to love yourself and care for yourself as you would care for others. What would you say to somebody who's maybe still in that belief structure about self care that it's a bunch of BS?

[00:12:52.480] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah. I feel like I can understand that first because I think what we see a lot, again, of self care is the self pampering. We see it from an aspect. That's the first thing I would say is that if you're looking at it through the lens of nails, hair, pampering, that is indulgent. Those things are important. The body does need to be massaged. The body does need to, believe it or not, especially as wedding professionals, your feet, you're on your feet. I don't know about you, but the day after an event, I would feel like a dead body, like I could not move. But we don't realize these are the same bodies that have been with you since childhood. T hey're growing with you. I f you want it to keep going with you, it's been growing with you. But if you want that body to keep growing with you, you have to take care of it. I would say don't just look at it from the indulgence part, but look at it from how are you feeding your body nutritional wise. Because every time you make a small decision to take care of yourself, I like to say you're putting some life time back into your savings account of life.

[00:14:04.100] - Candice Denise (Guest)

You're putting a little bit more of being able to keep your life going in a healthy way. And so for those people who feel like this is indulging, I'm like, but if you don't make the investment to be mindful about how you take care of yourself now, it will cost you in a lot of ways later. It can cost you with shorter lifespan. It can cost you in your relationships because people don't want to be around people who are unhappy. Teams don't want to work with people that are unhappy. Clients don't want to work with you if you're unhappy. It can cost you your business. If these things which we don't pay attention to, but they have a greater aspect or greater purpose. It's not just about those indulgent things, it's about how am I keeping my mind sharp and healthy? How am I keeping my my emotions intact? Do I instantly snap on people or when something goes wrong, am I ready to tell everybody about themselves? Those types of things will cost you your name in the business. Oh, don't ow work with her. Don't work with him. So yeah, you may not look...

[00:15:19.880] - Candice Denise (Guest)

You look at it indulgent. I'm looking at it like, how is this affecting your life and your livelihood?

[00:15:25.400] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Right. And let's be honest, the real indulgence here is the $150,000 on a wedding versus going and taking care of yourself, sipping some tea, lighting a candle that makes you feel good, reading a book, getting your nails done. If that's taking time off.

[00:15:39.530] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Taking a walk or just taking a walk. Literally self care. I used to do this when I would be frustrated in a wedding, when something was happening, I would literally go into a bathroom stall. I would walk away. I'd leave my team, the vendors, everyone, and I'd go have a moment by myself, whether that was in there. I'm like, quietly saying whatever I need to say get it out so that I can go back and show up. But I needed to dump that somewhere, and I didn't want to dump it on my people because I know they're doing as best as they can. I can't dump it on the client. I can't dump it on the vendors. So even if you just take a moment to pause and go get your pissed tivity out the way. If you're pissed, go pause, take that moment. That's self care. That's regulating your emotions. That right there, something that small. Or before when you get an email and you're ready to sound off, pause, self care, regulating your emotions. You're saving yourself your sanity, your stress levels, as well as your business and keeping your client happy as well as keeping your business afloat.

[00:16:51.130] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Yeah, I love this. I'm going to remember this every time I get an email where I want to pop off. I sometimes do. Sometimes I can't regulate my emotions and I need to. But I'm going to think, yeah, I'm genuinely going to keep this in mind. I agree with you. I think we have this one body, we have this one life, we have this one shot. And if we're caring for everyone else, we should be able to care for our selves, at least with the same energy level, at least with the same Gusto or whatever we're pouring into other people, we should be able to pour into ourselves. What are some common signs of burnout that you see wedding pros have or maybe somebody listening? What are just some common signs of burnout in general that they should be aware of?

[00:17:35.560] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah, a big sign is lack of motivation. You're not as motivated to do things. Your lack of passion for it lack of patience, your patience is shorter, you're more irritable. Those things definitely are showing that you need to maybe have some downtime, you need to release that stress or whatever is happening. Lack of motivation, lack of patience, patience, more irritable, not enjoying the work. You see it as a burden. You don't see it as something that you enjoy. Listen, we all have the highs and lows, but there's a difference between just not having a good day or having a series of months. You're just doing this just to be doing it's like, I'm not even enjoying what I'm doing anymore. That probably means that you need to step away and do a reset because those things right there easily show you, Yeah, I'm burned out and fatigue, excessive fatigue You're just always in this, you hear people say, I'm tired, I'm tired. If you hear yourself saying that all the time, you're probably emotionally and mentally physically burned out. It is causing a level of tire d. There's a such thing as decision fatigue. When you're...

[00:18:49.230] - Candice Denise (Guest)

We are in the business or being a former wedding pro, of making a lot of decisions that will burn you out. Pay attention to those things. Your lack of motivation, your lack of patience, your excessive fatigue, irritability, being more irritable, and not having a joy for the work, just feeling like you're disconnected from it.

[00:19:10.470] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Yeah. You can see how self care can be a portion of the remedy here. When you were describing the benefits of self care, it's the opposite spectrum of burnout. You find joy in the little things. You feel motivated, excited, creatively inspired. I also think we can all maybe pinpoint moments in our life where we were burnt out in our career. Maybe that's you right now. But then also moments where we felt a surge of inspiration. We're almost in this flow state of feeling really good and positive about our work.

[00:19:42.970] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Do.

[00:19:43.870] - Candice Coppola (Host)

You think that these are seasons that we go through, just like the seasons we go through every year, that we have highs and lows, highs and lows, highs and lows? Or is it something we should look to maintain consistently?

[00:19:58.280] - Candice Denise (Guest)

That's a great question, Candice. I would probably say that it really is. I think it's just the ebb and flows of life. I tell my clients stress doesn't go away. Burnout doesn't stop. It's how you manage it because you're going to be stressed. Your stress is going to come up. You're going to have these moments of burnout. But my question is, do you have the tools that help you to manage it? T hat's what I think the consistency needs to be maintained is that you have tools that you can pull on to say, I recognize I'm burned out. Light goes off, I'm burned out. What do I need to do for myself to help? How do I need to advocate for myself to help rectify this burnout versus just letting the burnout take over you? Now you're managing the burnout. You're managing the stress, the overwhelm, because a lot of times it manages us. But once you have those tools now you're managing it. So I say give yourself the grace to understand because when you start trying to attack it from I shouldn't have stress, I shouldn't have burnout, this should be a season of just It's like, no, because life changes every day from one minute to the next.

[00:21:16.820] - Candice Denise (Guest)

But when it does, are you letting it overtake you or are you managing it? And a lot of that starts in our mind and how we see it. The perspective is everything. And it's like, I recognize I'm burned out, and it's okay to say that. And it's okay. I think that's something else that we have to be comfortable with. It's okay to say, I'm tired, I am stressed. Just because you're in the business to take on other stress doesn't mean you're not allowed to be.

[00:21:47.790] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Right. Yeah. Thank you for saying all of that. Sometimes I feel as though we operate from this place where we believe it's a moral failing if we're unhappy or if we're stressed or if we're burnt out as if we need to maintain some status quo at all times. And it's just not possible. And so we're like, What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Why am I not as happy as I was yesterday? And it makes it even worse when we think.

[00:22:17.020] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Like that. Oh, my gosh, it does. It keeps you down. It keeps you down because now you've added this level of pressure, this narrative that you've created in your head. It's like, Okay, yeah, you may have a down day, a down few days. T hat's fine. If you're managing it, you're like, Listen, I've been down the past few days, but I've been also journaling how I've been feeling, just trying to get it out, not sitting with it. I've been taking some walks to try to just clear my head. I've been having moments of stillness, just sitting with a cup of tea, lighting a candle, and just being, just allowing myself to be. I've been letting these tears out. I've been screaming, doing these acts of just getting it out, just letting myself. I have moments. I'm like, I just scream. Just get it out. That's okay. We are not superheroes, despite what we've been called to be. I think, again, we have to remember, behind every story that we're creating is a story that's happening. T hat's the story of your own life.

[00:23:29.180] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Yeah. It e began to learn this lesson when I started paying attention to my own cycle. My business coach is really into this, and she taught this to me about how our menstrual cycle has seasons. I t's like, Those seasons affect pretty much everything about your mood and how you work. Once I was able to correlate those things, when I'm having my winter season or I'm just feeling really down, it usually corresponds with my hormonal cycle. I'm able to resolve myself of feeling like I am somehow a loser or it's a moral failing on my behalf. I realized, Well, this is just something my body is going through, so let me just care for it as best I can, do the best I can with what I have and know that the spring season for me is right around the corner and I'll be able to tackle things next week.

[00:24:23.910] - Candice Denise (Guest)

I love that. T here's a big study around cycles and planning your work around your cycles and how that... Because it does affect your hormones, which affects your mood, which affects your emotions. That's something to pay attention to. I think also seasons, winter seasons. There's a such thing as a lot of people suffer from seasonal depression when it's light versus dark. We are dark at 4 PM, or you're used to it being sunny. These things are something to pay attention to as well. If you're planning events that happen in the winter months versus in the summer months and you're wondering why you feel a little bit more tired in the winter versus in the summer, it could be because of the less natural light exposure that you're having. Being self aware is also something that's really important when it comes to your self care and understanding how to self regulate. I find that if in the winter when it's darker, I'm like, okay, let's et me get out and get as much of the natural light so I have to start my days earlier because I want to try to get as much of that natural light as possible because I know I'm going to be losing it sooner.

[00:25:40.970] - Candice Denise (Guest)

So we can't focus on the things we can't control. Focus on the things that you in, and I know I can control going outside a little earlier so that I can soak up that. But that means I'm self aware. I know I need light.

[00:25:54.420] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Now, I want to segue into some practical tips on how our listeners can incorporate self care. We've talked about what it is, we've talked about the benefits of it, why it's not indulgent, but it's important in maintaining yourself, and also some common signs that they might be experiencing burnout, which self care can help with. Let's talk about physical because you've talked about how being physical is a part of your self care. Maybe what are some quick exercises or activities that wedding pros can do to make movement a priority?

[00:26:32.430] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah. I think it can start even before you leave your home. When I am talking about this, people find it to be funny, but I'm like, while you're getting dressed or brushing your teeth, you can do squats. You can squat and brush your teeth at the same time, or hold on to your bathroom counter and do some leg lifts, or moving your legs because those legs definitely keep you going when you're lifting and moving and directing through an event. Just things like that. It also allows you not to have to find more time, but you're using the time you already have because I hear that a lot. People are like, I don't have time to go work out and do things. I'm like, Well, let's layer it. How can we add it into something that you're already doing? You're brushing your teeth. You're doing your face, so why not do some leg lifts or some squats right there? T hat's a movement that you can do. When you get to a venue, if you're doing a venue walk through, or if you're there, get there a little earlier and park further because that allows you to walk to get some steps in.

[00:27:40.150] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Although I know you're going to be moving around and getting steps during the event, but that allows you some intentional walking, and that also keeps you moving, gets the heart blood and all those things before you actually start the event. So parking further is something to consider as well that can help you with your movement. Also, when you're at your desk or when you're doing your calls, stretches. I'm a big fan of stretching or moving and doing some neck rolls or some shoulder rolls because that's where the tension tends to stay and sit. So rolling your neck, moving your shoulders, doing some wrist rolls, things like that, standing up for a minute. And if you can, even getting a stand up desk or desk that allows you to stand and sit. I have one and I love it. And so sometimes when I'm working, I can stand or I can sit. Again, just small ways, small decisions that are helping you to add to your self care.

[00:28:41.150] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Movement is so important. I think sometimes we see exercise as more of torture rather than caring for ourselves. At least I know that that's been me in the past. But once I decided like, hey, I'm not going to be the person who does an exercise and let that be the joke. I'm going to actually start exercising and becoming stronger. I really found so much joy in the act of exercising and doing something that I have avoided pretty much my whole life because it felt hard or I felt uncomfortable, I lack confidence in it. I found so much joy and it actually gives me a space to clear my head and I leave it feeling better than when I started it always. There's never been a time where I have regretted moving my body, taking a walk, going to the gym, getting on my bike, lifting some weights. I've never, ever regretted it. I've regretted not doing it, but I've never regretted doing it. And it's added such joy to my life and helped me to think clearly, feel better about myself, feel more confident, which I think is important, too. So movement, I think is so important in caring for yourself and also releasing stress.

[00:29:50.110] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah. And start small, especially if you're someone that's trying to get into it, to your point. Everyone doesn't love it, and I get it. That's why I don't say working out, I say movement. I like that because I think that feels more attainable to say moving the body versus working out because we already have a depiction of what that looks like already in our mind. It's not good. It's not good. So you're automatically shutting yourself off from it. But if you're like, just movement, small movement, that's when I'm like, listen, start with a few squats, right? Or just like you said, taking a walk. Maybe I'm going to park further. Maybe if you get to the venue and it's going to be on the fifth floor, take the stairs if you can, or take the stairs to the second floor and then take the elevator to the fifth. Just small ways to start getting your body accustomed to moving and then add to it. When you try to go into the deep end of the pool, you're going to sink.

[00:30:51.730] - Candice Coppola (Host)

It's true. Swim where you know how to swim and then work your way towards the deep end. 100 %. Yeah. 100 % %. What about nutrition? How important do you think nutrition is in self care? What are some ways that we can care for ourselves when we think about how we nourish our body?

[00:31:12.490] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Such a great question. I often say food is fuel. We have to think about that from the aspect of when you're moving through that day, what My favorite analogy, your car. If you have a certain car, you can't put a certain gas in it. If you have a car that takes premium gas, you can't put regular gas in it because it's not going to be its optimal self. It's not going to perform at its optimal self. You have to do the same when it comes to you. If you want to be your most optimal self, especially game day, wedding day, you have to put things inside of you that are going to allow you to do that. E ating heavy and you know that's not going to help is going to make you more fatigued. Think about, Okay, I need to eat things that are going to keep my energy going, that are going to allow me to feel fed but not feeling tired. Think about that. Maybe it's smoothies with protein in it. Maybe it is things with vegetables or fruit bowls and things of that sort. Maybe salads but adding if you're like a salmon or chicken or if you're vegetarian, you don't have to add that.

[00:32:35.210] - Candice Denise (Guest)

But think about it from the aspect of what's going to keep you fueled so that you can maximize this day and not feel tired because no one needs to start the day feeling tired. You don't want to go into it having this big major breakfast. It's like add small things along the way. Pack snacks, have an emergency kit. I know wedding planners, we have emergency kits for our clients. You need to have an emergency kit for yourself. Itself. And it needs to be all kinds of snacks, granola bars, just all these things that your body can actually feed off of to keep you going.

[00:33:10.680] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Yeah. I think about moms who put so much care into creating the lunches for their kids and sending their kids to school with nutritious, fun lunch, and you're preparing these lunches for your kids. There's even TikTok channels of how you can do this really creatively. But when it comes time to preparing our own lunch, it's like Chickfil A drive through.

[00:33:33.940] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Imagine.

[00:33:35.940] - Candice Coppola (Host)

If you had taken that time to sit down and prepare yourself something luxuriously delicious that fuels you, that is nutritious, that is seasonal, in season food, how much better you would feel. And just the act of caring for yourself and cutting up a salad and making it for yourself and making it beautiful and making it tasty is self care to me.

[00:33:59.670] - Candice Denise (Guest)

It is. Totally is, especially it's been said, when things are plated, we eat slower. When things are beautiful because you're taking in the beauty of it. But when something is just thrown together, we eat it faster. That's fast food. Which also you have to think about that adds to your gut health.

[00:34:20.610] - Candice Coppola (Host)

So if.

[00:34:21.190] - Candice Denise (Guest)

You're eating stuff that you're just whooping it down, you're not helping your gut health also. Our gut health, believe it or not, plays a lot in our mood and in our energy. And so if things are not digesting well, so if you find that you're tired a lot or that your energy is low, it may be your gut health. What are you putting into your gut and it's not breaking down, it's not processing the way it needs to. So that's why you're showing up always tired as well. Maybe it's not burnout. Maybe my gut health isn't right. Maybe what I'm eating on those days, running through the drive through is not helping. If you need to run through something, maybe you need to run through, go through the p air of bread instead or something. Let me just grab this salad, like you said, even if you can't make it, but try to maybe find healthier options of even if you do have to have fast food, order those types of things. Grab those kinds of meals. There's so many different kinds of companies that are popping up now. And so look to those types of things as well.

[00:35:23.080] - Candice Denise (Guest)

And especially if you're going to be on site, plan it out, order it, say, Okay, I'm going to be on site. I'm not going to be able to have time to go. So have someone from your team, listen, these are our options right here. Look through that, figure it out. But it's about being intentional and really being mindful and thinking through that. We're planning for the client. It's now time to start planning for us. That's the advocating. We have to plan for ourselves.

[00:35:51.890] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Yeah, I love that. Our brains need food in order to run, like we need fuel to think. And so if you are going an entire wedding day. I used to do this all the time. I regret it. My husband would yell at me all the time. He's like, You need to eat. You need to eat. You need to eat. And you just can't prioritize it. But you have to prepare for it. You have to plan for it. You have to make it a practice. And your body needs fuel, especially on wedding day. Your brain needs it, let alone your muscles. Your brain needs it in order for you to make decisions.

[00:36:22.160] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Absolutely. And if you can't hold yourself accountable, get someone from your team to do it. So this is what I started doing. I knew I couldn't hold myself accountable. I knew I would get it. I'm the lead planner. Everyone's coming to me. You're the project manager, the vendors, the client. So someone from my team was designated. You are my person to be on me. So that part of their role was not seeing to the client, I need you to see to me. So literally I was like, I need you to make sure that I eat this many times or that I eat these types of things. And then part of what one of the team members, she started making some of the meals for me. S o she would bring them in. I thought, Thank you so much. So you might have to have these conversations. Again, being self aware, I knew I don't know how to regulate myself. But if I put someone on me to do it, and I told her, I don't care what I'm doing, pull me, this is what you've been told. You have this. I know I'm going to give you probably a crazy look.

[00:37:28.620] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Pay it no attention. Make sure, just pull me to the side and say, do it. I always was grateful for it. I was always grateful when she did. If you can't regulate yourself and you can't plan for yourself, put someone on you to do.

[00:37:40.760] - Candice Coppola (Host)

It for you. Yeah, you'll be grateful. You'll be better for it. I'm sure there's a person on your team already who sees that you're not caring for yourself in an event and just wants the green light in order to step in and to support you, make sure you're fed, make sure you have water, that you get to have a 15 minute break to cool yourself down or to curse somebody, an invisible person out in the restroom, whatever you need. So we've talked about physical, and we've had some physical ideas for movement. We want to prioritize movement in our self care routine. We want to prioritize nutrition. And I find those are the two things that really help you to boost your energy levels, help you see clearer, help you feel better, more confident. But what about mental health? How can wedding pros ensure that they're taking care of their mental health during busy season, but really any season?

[00:38:31.150] - Candice Denise (Guest)

The first thing I always encourage is that I think everyone should have a therapist. I wholeheartedly believe in it. Even as a self care professional myself, I have a therapist too, because there are some things that no matter what we do on our own, we need someone else helping to support us through that. We should have professional guidance to help us with our mental health. That's my first thing is that I encourage some type of therapy. Secondly, I think that it's important to give yourself moments of stillness as well as quiet because there's a lot of noise going on around us. There's a lot of noise going on within us. Having moments to just be still and maybe in that stillness, you decide to meditate. Maybe you decide to journal. But just having moments that it's just you and you are not having to answer to someone or having to be obligated to this or that, just taking that time for yourself to be away from everything and everyone and making that a part of your routine. Maybe there's a certain day of the week that you're like, This is my stillness time, or this hour of the day, or whatever that needs to look like.

[00:39:57.050] - Candice Denise (Guest)

But I think that that's helpful because, again, there's a lot of noise that's coming and being deposited. And so you just need time to just be.

[00:40:06.430] - Candice Coppola (Host)

My stillness routine used to be when I would get in the car and I couldn't be on my phone, I couldn't be looking. Phone is on do not disturb and you put on music and you're just with yourself and you're focused on driving, but you're taking in and enjoying music. You're with your thoughts. There's something beautiful about driving somewhere, windows down, summertime. It's so nice nice. That's a level of stillness that I love having.

[00:40:35.340] - Candice Denise (Guest)

I love that. It's funny you say car, Candice, because another thing, believe it or not, that can help you with your mental health is just sitting in your car. How many times have we pulled up to our home and we just sit there before we get out?

[00:40:49.160] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Your husband does that all the time.

[00:40:51.220] - Candice Denise (Guest)

It's a thing. People have been like, What's happening? It's like, Well, this is actually self care. There's a study shown that people will even sit sometimes still with their seat belt on because it's a level of... The seat belt almost feels like this support, this embracing, almost like a hug in a way, whether you know it or not, because we all need to have this level of care. And so if you just sit in your car when you pull up to your home, or before you go into a venue, before you get to the event, give yourself 10 minutes, 15 minutes to get there earlier than everyone else. Be on the scene before everyone else and just give yourself that time to just be just sitting in the car. That can be a part of helping you with your mental health. Very small. I'm not here to try to create anything new. It's like, what are things that you're already doing, but how can you be more intentional and mindful with them?

[00:41:53.570] - Candice Coppola (Host)

For instance, if you wake up in the morning and skincare is important to you, your skincare routine is a form of self care. Now that you see that that's a form of self care, you can take that time, maybe take a few extra minutes in the morning to savor it, to enjoy it, to just be with it rather than rushing through it and then rushing downstairs to eat or rushing out the door.

[00:42:14.580] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah, absolutely. I know for myself today, I wasn't feeling the greatest. Being under the weather, I said, I'm going to put my spa music on when I get out the shower, and I'm going to moisturize my body with some oils that help to get some essential oils that help the body to feel more relaxed and calmer, catering to it. I'm still going to moisturize, but this time I decided to use the essential oils because I know that they're going to be more helpful. It's really those types of decisions. But even with your mental health, making sure that you are resting properly helps with your mental health. Powering down. We don't have enough practices to help us just power down from the day. We carry a lot of the day into our rest, and then we wonder why we toss and turn and our minds can't turn off because you've not given your mind any time to turn off. Give yourself some time before you go to bed to just power down and release everything that's happened from the day. Journal, hot tea, stretching, meditating, warm bath, shower, put on your favorite PJs that make you feel cozy, watch something that inspires you or brings you joy.

[00:43:31.720] - Candice Denise (Guest)

All these things help you to transition so that you can rest. Spray your linens down with some spray that helps you to rest well. These things help your mental health, too.

[00:43:44.040] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Candice gives some great tips on Instagram with all of this. I'm thinking through some of the reels that you've created over the years, showing your power down routine, your morning routine. And sometimes we just need to see how another person incorporates self care in their life to then pick the things that feel good for us so that we can start taking care of our physical and mental wellness. We'll end on this question. For our listeners, can you share some simple and practical self care strategies that they can just add into their daily routine? Maybe something in the morning, something midday, something as they're powering down so we can start swimming in the shallow end and then maybe get our way over to the deep end of self care.

[00:44:27.880] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah. I think in the mornings, giving yourself some U time before you command the day, allow yourself to command yourself first. What is it that you need for you? So absolutely give yourself some morning power up by maybe not immediately checking your phone, at least not your emails and social media and all that stuff. Give yourself that first 15 to 30 minutes when you start your day to not not connect with the world, to just connect with yourself. Again, it could be warm tea, your cup of coffee, reading the paper, listening to a podcast, listening to a YouTube channel, or something that's going to pour into you first before you go and pour into the rest of the world. So that's first for the mornings. For your midday, I would say do what I like to call the Pulse check. Check in with yourself, ask yourself, how am I feeling right now? Is there anything that I am lacking emotionally, mentally, physically? Is there something that I need? If my body is feeling tired, do I need to maybe take a quick nap? Do I need to maybe hydrate? Am I feeling dehydrated? Maybe I need to drink some more water.

[00:45:44.830] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Maybe, have I eaten yet? Maybe I need to go eat. Do I need to take some deep breaths? Do I need to go for a walk? So do a midday check in with yourself just to see where you are because it's like we start our day with ourselves and then we forget ourselves until the end of the day. It's true. So check back in with you. We check in with our loved ones. How's your day going? We send a quick little text. Hey, love, how are you? How's your day going? I want you to do the same thing for you. Then at the end of your day, like I said, power that down. Find ways to release the day so that you don't take it into your rest and you don't take it into the next day. When you're working, they say, leave your troubles at the door. Don't bring it into the job. I don't want you to bring the job into your day, into your home. How can you unload that dump that has been dumped onto you? Whether, again, it is watching something inspirational or listening to something, maybe having a solo dance party before you go to bed, having a glass of wine.

[00:46:45.900] - Candice Denise (Guest)

It could be maybe calling up a friend and having just some fun conversation before bed.

[00:46:51.770] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Coffee talk, a.

[00:46:52.960] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Little gap session. Exactly, a little gap session. I love to have those. Or maybe writing yourself a love note or something like that to encourage your sofa the next day. Maybe saying, Hey, I know today wasn't the greatest, but tomorrow we're going to try to do our best. And leaving that for yourself so that you can open it the next day. Finding ways to just power down from the day.

[00:47:16.840] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Great tips. And I think something that everybody listening can practice in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. I love that pulse check because we don't just ask ourselves, Hey, what do you need right now? Are you good? Because you're not looking so great. Do you need to get out of the house that you haven't left for three days? What do you need? Do you want to maybe take a shower, change your shirt, get something to eat?

[00:47:40.390] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Right. Binge watch a show. What do you need? What is going to get you back to where your normal is for you? What normal is for you? And you know when you're off, I'm not feeling myself today. What do I need to do? Do I need to go just grab this ice cream and maybe walk around the park or what does that mean to be? But we do. We check in with everyone else. Again, we advocate for everyone else. We're not advocating for ourselves.

[00:48:11.710] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Yeah, this is very true. Well, Candice, you have two really amazing resources that our listeners can go and check out to help weave self care and make it a daily practice, not just in this wedding season, but every day that they can prioritize themselves. The first is an E Guide. It's called Making Morning My Own. It has 50 simple ways you can power you up and command your day. Do you want to share just a little bit about what this E Guide is?

[00:48:37.740] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah, sure. It's a quick way to just give you some understanding on ideas that you can do, again, to power you up and command your day. We talked about starting the top of your day, what can you do? A lot of times people don't have any idea and they're like, Well, I don't know what works. I wanted to give you some ideas on here are some things that you can try. D o understand, you have to try a few in order to see if it works. It needs to feel natural to you. Don't try them all. Maybe pick two things to start your day with. Again, we're starting in a kiddie pool and we're working our way up to the.

[00:49:17.400] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Deep end. Yes, I love this, though. I love that you have examples here and people can pick something that feels aligned with how their days are, maybe something that they're already doing, but then doing it with more intention, as you mentioned. You also have the self care life, which is a card deck created to help you easily make self care a part of your every day. I love this. I love card decks. I have tons of them. I'm just going to pick up yours. But this sounds like a lot of fun.

[00:49:44.360] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah. So here's the card deck. And so it's a very small pocket size, I like to call it, because I believe your self care should go wherever you go. So it's a card deck that allows you to just pick a card and help guide you on your care of the day. Sometimes we don't know, again, maybe what do I need to do for me? And so if you're looking for some ideas, this card deck will have them. It's a combination of affirmations as well as action because I do believe we have to affirm ourselves but also believe that we need some action items that we have to do to take care of ourselves. So speaking to yourself but also have some action things that help you take care of yourself. And so that's what this card deck is for.

[00:50:25.530] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Oh, it's fantastic. I'm going to link all of this in the show notes so you can check out Candice's E Guide and also the self care life card deck. Candice, where can our listeners find you if they want to connect with you outside the show and even speak to you about coaching and supporting them in their journey in self care?

[00:50:42.980] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah, absolutely. So you can always email me at info@bikandisdenise. Com, especially if you're interested in coaching. I'm always hanging out on Instagram @ Candice Denise, as well as TikTok @Bikandis Denise.

[00:50:59.100] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Oh, gosh, I'm thinking of follow you you on TikTok. I recently just dove in the in the kiddie pool of TikTok. And now I'm like, it's a whole situation over there. It's a lot of fun, though. I really enjoy it.

[00:51:13.320] - Candice Denise (Guest)

You never know. You can literally find the key to life on TikTok.

[00:51:17.750] - Candice Coppola (Host)

I mean, honestly. Yeah, everything is over there. That's so funny. Well, Candice, thank you so much for such a great interview today and encouraging us to prioritize ourselves as we prioritize our clients and our family and our friends.

[00:51:29.920] - Candice Denise (Guest)

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for having me. I think this is a much needed conversation, so I'm grateful to be here. And listen, as I always say to all my clients, stay healthy, be well, and most of all, take care of you.

[00:51:41.300] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Well, I want to thank Candice so much for being such a great guest on the podcast. Listen, I wanted to keep this interview around 30 minutes, but as we got going, there was just no way for me to not continue to ask questions. Candice's answers were so insightful. I also felt so seen and heard by her as she describes scenarios that we go through, how burnout really feels, and also the benefits of self care because I've seen them myself in my own daily routines and rituals. I'm going to link everything that we talked about today inside our show notes. I want to encourage you to explore Candice's offerings, go and get her Making Morning My Own eGuide, and pick up her the Self Care Life card deck. She also has some amazing coaching options in case you want to connect with Candice in a one on one way to prioritize yourself and your self care. That is self care. Hiring Candice is self care for yourself and your business. Having someone help give you the tools you need to prioritize yourself and to take, as she says, small steps every single day to take care of your wellness.

[00:52:53.980] - Candice Coppola (Host)

Having someone around to help you do that, I think is what we need. I'll link all of that inside the show notes. My friend, I am thinking of you in the thick of wedding season. I hope you come back to this episode time and time again for ideas on how you can better care for yourself. Remember to prioritize your own self the same way that you prioritize your clients. All right, friend, I'm here to remind you that there's so much power in your purpose. Until next time. Thanks so much for tuning in to this this week's episode of the Power In Purpose podcast. If you enjoyed the show, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode and consider leaving a review. Head over to powerinpurpose podcast. Com to access all of the resources and links mentioned in today's episode. That's powerinpurpose podcast. Com. I'll see you next time. Bye.